No Coffee, but Apple Juice?
by Seanait
Summary: SG1 finds a little cube on a planet. Old memories reawaken and certain physical aspects, that can't be ignored, appear... w.i.p. [on hold, sorta]
1. Journey of the Past

Ooh! This is gonna be a fun little piece!!! But I might not get chapters out very fast, sorry, but now... on to the story!

No Coffee, but Apple Juice?

* * *

"Oh Jack!" 

Grunt.

"You're never gonna believe what I found!!" the close voice tantalized. Jack moaned in protest. He'd been on first watch that night and had gotten no sleep whatsoever.

"Daniel! It's…" he looked at his watch and groaned loudly, "4 IN THE MORNING!" Jack vocalized his protest. Daniel was jumping up and down.

"Come on Jack, it's the coolest thing!!" Jack put his head back down on the makeshift pillow.

"Daniel, I can't **_believe_** you got me up at this ungodly hour to show me some rock you found in the woods. Not only that, but I haven't had a cup of decent coffee in days!"

Daniel beamed. "Jack, it's only 4 back home, its 8 here."

The colonel growled. "At **_least_** let me have coffee before you take me on your next world wind adventure." O'Neill got up from bed and looked around at the pleasant planet. The fields were green as were the forests, the sand was yellow, that ocean was blue, and Daniel was olive… now, where were his other little olive spots? "Danny? Where's Teal'c and Carter?"

Daniel waved vaguely in the direction he'd come from. "Back at the ruins."

"The Rocks, Daniel, they're at the Rocks," Jack mumbled as he blew on his coffee. It was just enough to get Daniel going.

"They're **_ruins_** Jack, not rocks."

"Oh yeah? What's the difference? I mean the **_ruins_** are made of **_rock_** aren't they?"

Daniel sighed. "Fine. Ruins are rocks placed in a formation made by man… or whatever else… making them significant."

"Whatever."

Jack smiled into his coffee as his very annoyed archeologist muttered to himself. Unknown to most, Jack was fond of his pest, even though he was a scientist, but Daniel was sooo easy sometimes! The colonel couldn't help it when Daniel let him through an opening. He took advantage of the situation… being as that was natural to Jack…

Jack finished his MRE and coffee at a semi-leisurely pace, which served to make Daniel more impatient and more child-like. He whined.

"Ja-ack!"

"Coming Daniel…" With that, Jack grabbed his sidearm and P-90 and the two headed off to the Rocks.

--------

"Morning Carter, Teal'c."

"Hey! Good morning sir, glad to see you're up."

"Yeah, no thanks to that one." Jack pointed conspicuously at Daniel.

"Hey!"

"Good morning O'Neill," Teal'c greeted conversationally.

"Hey T." Jack settled and turned to Daniel. "Now, what was it that I needed to see so urgently?"

"Over here Jack." Daniel ran off into a little cave like thing. Jack reluctantly followed.

"Oh Daniel??" The two stopped on their walk. Daniel turned. "Can we see it now too?" Sam asked patiently. Teal'c and Carter had been forbidden to see the object until they were all there, probably so he didn't have to explain whatever it was twice. Being a scientist, Sam was naturally curious to what this machine was and to why Daniel would be so interested in it.

"Yeah sure, come on," he answered distractedly.

"Let's go campers to follow Daniel off into the Cave of Doom."

------------------

"Ta da!"

"Daniel, it's dark in here."

"Hold on sir." Light flooded across Jack's face and Jack knew where that light was coming from.

"Carter! Gun. Down."

"Sorry sir." Daniel grabbed a torch and lit it with his lighter. Now the team could see oil puddles in bowls scattered across the room. Daniel lit them carefully, set the torch in a cradle on the wall, and ran back to the team.

"Daniel! I didn't know you smoked!" Jack said in mock disbelief. Daniel didn't pick up on the sarcasm for a split second then got it – the lighter.

"Ha ha. Do you want to see thing or not?" he asked impatiently.

Jack extended his hand. "Lead the way." In a little room in the cave was an altar. On top of it was a blue square, it seemed to be phosphorescent because of the almost imperceptible glow.

"Whoa."

"Yeah."

"What is this object DanielJackson?"

"Put your hand on it."

"Uh, Daniel, that might not be such a good idea until I check out the equipment," Sam advised.

"By all means." She pulled out her recorder and went up close to it.

"Nothing harmful, just light as far as-" Sam tripped and put her hand on the device for balance. She froze.

"Carter? Carter?!" Sam snapped out of it as her CO called her name.

"Whoa. I'm here sir." She turned to Daniel. "What the hell was that?" The team gave her an odd look. "That was… was incredible, amazing, scary almost." Jack gave her the skeptic eye and went to touch it himself.

He was absorbed into it without any regard to the people around him. He felt like he was flying through a Stargate… of his life. Images flashed past him until it settled on one. A happy moment in his childhood and he was playing the part all over again. It had been his tenth birthday, his dad was back from the military for the week, and mom was there right beside him as he blew out the 10 candles. All his friends were there, very good best friends, not to mention his birthday had also become a mini family reunion. Many of his relatives had been there to give him lots of presents (something **_every_** 10 year old cares about), love, and cake (Jack's favorite). That was also the birthday that he got his first dog. It was a golden retriever named Major O'Neill, after his dad's rank at the time. He laughed, with puppy in arms, as his parents tickled him to death, the puppy licked him to death, and friends and family swarmed over him. It was a loving, happy moment, one of the few in the life of Jack O'Neill. He was pulled away from the moment and returned to SG-1.

In the cube, he'd been feeling the feelings of his ten year old self, so he was exuberant when he returned. But soon after departing the cube's depths, the adult O'Neill took over and he was immediately sad at the loss of those happy days.

SG-1 looked on in wonder as Jack retreated from the cube. One second he was happier than a little kid, the next, instantly sad, but it didn't reach his eyes. So the crew knew that whatever he had seen must have been happy and in the past. So because it was in the past he was sad at the memory of good times. Teal'c was intrigued by the actions of his teammates and moved to the blue cube and laid his hand upon it. He too was in the grips of the past.

"Jack? You okay?"

"Fine," he said dejectedly. The moment had been happy and he felt like he was going to tear up.

"What did you see sir?"

"It was my tenth birthday party. One of the happiest times of my life. My dad was back from the field for the whole week, all my friends were there, and most of my family was too. I was lavished in presents and cake…" Jack sighed at the name and the onlookers smiled. "I also got my first dog that day, Major O'Neill, after my dad's rank." He broke out of his reverie. "Of course, the next day he was promoted to colonel, but I couldn't change the dog's name… sheesh, it figures." Jack smiled in remembrance. "Enough about me, so what about you two?"

"Huh, mine is a strange one for most people, but it was significant for me." Daniel laughed softly. "I must have been ten or so… it was my second foster home, real nice people by the way. New school, newish people – loving, but new, and one friend. I was a definite geek back then-" Jack chortled and Daniel gave him a condescending look like 'very funny.' "I made my first **_real_** friend, I mean I had friends before, or more like friendlies that I hung out with, sat with, played with, occasionally talked on the phone with, but no, he was a true friend. He understood me and even if he didn't he didn't shun me, but actually wanted to learn from it. The day I saw in that thing was the day he asked me if I wanted to be his best friend. I couldn't believe he was asking me, so at first I gaped like a fish and then bubbled up a 'sure!'"

Daniel stopped, remembering his best friend and he smiled. "What was his name Daniel?" Sam prompted softly.

"Chris, Chris Parson, damn… I miss that kid."

Then and there, Jack committed himself to finding Daniel's first real friend, getting the two back together, and then personally giving Chris his thanks on befriending the wayward archeologist.

"So Carter, what about you?"

"The day I knew for sure I wanted to get into the space program at NASA. I had it all planned out, go to the Academy at 17 or 18, whenever my dad would let me, then ask to be stationed at NASA. Only problem was that I had to wait seven or eight more years until I was old enough to go. Then I got into science and astrophysics, then waited a couple more years, then got hooked up on the Stargate program, not that I'm not happy here or anything. But that day was special, I told my dad and he told mom, and we all had this big group hug together, my brother too." Sam's eyes softened at the mention of her parents and brother. She stared off into space and sighed.

"Those were the-" A loud, booming laugh interrupted Daniel's speech. The humans looked at each other oddly. They were all thinking the same thing. _Teal'c?_ They spun to see him 'returning' from the cube. Teal'c's memory had been much longer than the rest of the team.

"Uh, T?" They all saw his face in a true smile, not one of his half-grins. They were amazed to say the least. "What exactly did you see?" Jack asked slowly.

* * *

hehe, how'd you like that?? 


	2. Teal'c's S'mores

hehe... sorry 'bout the cliffhanger there, I know you all don't like them.... lol, I'm evil aren't I? Anyway, there's more coming your way, eventually... plz tell me what you liked about it! On with the story!

* * *

The giant Jaffa grinned in delight, showing a rarely seen side of him. "I reminisced upon a trip outside of our village."

"Sorta like Boy Scouts?" Jack inquired.

"I am unfamiliar with that designation. The excursion was part of a mission designed to teach young ones – those who are able to be without a symbiot – to worship Apophis. I believe that in your years they are from nine to twelve years of age." Teal'c swelled with pride, certainly not at Apophis, but probably from the trip. "Many of my childhood friends accompanied me. The organization was called Jaffa Encouragement Groups – this is the closest translation into your language. At the time, we did not know better. Many of my friends came with me on our first excursion outside the village. We made fire, sang to Apophis, and had cul'kah-mah."

"Marshmallows, chocolate, and cookies… right?"

"Daniel? S'mores?"

"DanielJackson, what are marshmallows?"

"Uh, they're white, squishy, and they look like cylinders – short ones."

"Then, yes, you have the correct translation."

"That's great Teal'c! That combination of foods is what we call S'mores. I'd bet that Daniel, the colonel, and me would love to take you camping…. And we can have S'mores."

"That would be most appreciated MajorCarter." Teal'c bowed his head towards her. "That night, there was much laughing and rejoicing. We told many jokes. We sat in a circle and each Jaffa told off a joke if they knew one. Our _dis'tra_ even dared to tell about Apophis. This is where I learned the Set joke. Even after we where sent off to sleep, we had a minor battle between the two campsites. It was the most fun I had ever had." Teal'c grinned contently. The rest of the group remembered the strange joke about Seth's warriors; apparently the joke was a common one among Jaffa. They had a strange sense of humor…

Jack was happy for Teal'c; it was the first time he'd even seen the big Jaffa smile like that. It must have been a good party. He clapped his hands together to get everyone out of the memory business for a bit. "Soooo…. I assume we're takin' it home?"

* * *

_dis'tra_ – it's an actual Goa'uld word that means _master_; here I wanted to use it as _leader_ or something like that.

sorry, that chapt was a little short.....


	3. Calm Before the Storm

Ick..... I had a lot of studying to do that's why the chapters have been a little slow, but here it is!!! Thank you for your kind words, btw!!!

* * *

"So colonel, what is this?"

Jack shrugged nonchalantly. "It's pretty cool whatever it is."

"Jack, are you telling me you don't know what it is and you brought it back to Earth?" Hammond asked worried.

"Sir, it's not dangerous at all. The light being emitted only seems to be phosphorescent, nothing else."

"See," Jack stated his point. Hammond looked pointedly at his 2IC.

"Dr. Jackson?"

"As you can tell, there are no writings of any kind on the cube, but the cave was another story." Daniel pressed a button for the SmartBoard and a glowing picture appeared. Even Hammond was awed and he couldn't have cared less for ancient texts. But no, this was incredible and beautiful. The cavern where the cube was discovered was covered in brilliantly painted depictions of life and a beautiful flowing language, with a couple pictographs here and there. The colors didn't seem to be thousands maybe even hundreds of thousand years old, in fact they seemed like they had been painted yesterday. This was pure art.

"That's pretty impressive, Dr. Jackson," Hammond wowed.

"Jack thought so too." Hammond was impressed.

"So then you could imagine my reaction to finding this cave," Daniel continued. Jack remembered perfectly well. Daniel had been as jumpy and annoying as a five-year-old. "But despite all of our efforts, the language one: means very little to us, but familiar, and two: the part we can get mentions nothing of a glowing blue cube, which they would have done in the pictographs." Daniel now alerted their attention to these pictures.

"So the device is perfectly harmless?"

"From what we can tell, yes sir," Sam answered happily. Oh wait, one last thing to tell the general…

"Oh yes, general? This cube showed us the past, our happiest memories of the past, when we touched it" Jack intoned.

"Oh?" The general looked intrigued, but wary.

"It seems to no longer be active General Hammond. For this, I am truly sorry."

"No need Teal'c. It wasn't your doing." Hammond looked scared, but elated at the same time. Jack figured only Hammond could pull that emotion off successfully.

Hammond brought the debriefing to a close. "SG-1, tomorrow at 13 hundred hours, you will be going back to the planet to find out exactly what the object is meant to do and if there are any side effects to your past." Jack smiled at that one and faked a sneeze.

"Sorry sir, I'm allergic to my past." Daniel and Sam smirked, but poor Teal'c was left in the dark. Hammond scowled and continued.

"Before you go, I'm sorry to say, SG-1, that you can't go home tonight. We might need you to figure out the machine you brought back from the planet. But, by all means, make yourselves comfortable in the VIP quarters… again, I'm truly sorry…"

Jack looked down; he had been looking forward to sleeping in his own bed tonight. Ah well, orders are orders. As the team walked out, Hammond noticed all of their clothing seemed to fit baggier than before, but that appearance was probably just because the team was so weary from the recent journey. It had taken a lot out of them – the hypothetical straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

The team walked down the corridors together and loaded into the elevator. They all headed for the showers and locker rooms, then for the V.I.P. quarters. Sam split off to her locker room after bidding them all a good night. As Jack and Daniel walked together, with Teal'c only one step behind them, Daniel asked a rather random question – even for him.

"Jack have you been dying your hair again?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know, it just seems like that your hair isn't as gray as it was before the trip… maybe it's just the light…" Jack threw him the oddest look, as did Teal'c. The archeologist stopped and looked at them both.

"Never mind both of you." He made a disgusted sound and walked ahead of them. Jack and Teal'c shared expressions and followed Daniel into the locker room.

After drowning all the fish in the ocean, Jack stepped out of the blissfully long, hot shower to find cold air fall upon his skin. Discarding the BDU's for a set of 'on-the-base-PJ's' he _happened_ to have lying around, he trotted off to the VIP rooms. He received many strange looks from those passing by him, shocked to see the colonel in PJ's and slippers. He didn't care, but he almost never wore this stuff – not even at home. But tonight, he wanted to lie down and feel all the tension melt away. When Jack plopped into bed, he did just that, lie very still and let the tension melt away. All muscles relaxed, this was going to be a good night.

* * *

What's the worst that could happen now? Jack's having a nice slumber, nothing ominous about that, is there? 


	4. The Storm Part 1

**Beep beep…beep beep!** the alarm clock called, it asked for trouble. A tired colonel swung his hand at it and nailed the snooze button. He grumbled around not wanting to get up at all… damn was he comfy! The colonel muffled into his pillow some angry words about military bases, Stargates, and alarm clocks. Today was supposed to be a semi-day-off. After he tromped down to Sam's lab and they determined that the Cube wasn't dangerous, he could run home… and maybe flop there. _Gah! Mornings…_ he mumbled wearily. He looked up at the clock next to him. Jack's eyes slowly focused on the red numbers, 6:15!! What kind of joke was that?! Jack raised his head and arm and turned the god damned thing off and fell back to sleep.

_Damn…_The alarm clock in Jack's room managed to rouse a sleepy archeologist from his lovely slumber. Seconds later, his clock wailed only to be abruptly stopped by a loud crash. Daniel had killed it effectively. The clock sulked; it was only its job! Daniel couldn't care less, he was tired and he was most definitely going back to bed, whether the world liked it or not!

In a weary major's case, her clock went off at an ungodly hour, even for her. Thinking duty called, she slowly picked her body up from the extremely comfortable bed, that is until she saw the time. One Sam Carter wailed. 2:55?! Her strong fist smashed the cheap clock to pieces, almost. The top of the clock was dented in, never to ring again unless Siler looked at it. _Bloody thing!_ she thought tiredly. Whoever played this joke on her was going to pay for it. That last trip had taken its toll on her and she could tell. Blissful, undisturbed sleep was what was wanted – nothing else. She slammed back into the feather pillow, not to rise again for many hours.

Teal'c, on the other hand, had not problem sleeping, even though he to had been wiped by the mission. He never cared to show it, that was showing weakness. Besides, the tretonin was almost as good as a symbiot. He slept peacefully, imagining 'z's floating over head, courtesy of Jack and Daniel's imagery. All was good that night. The base was almost silent, except for the night guard, but nothing was amiss. No off-world teams coming in hot, no alien attacks, no neighbors coming to drop by, no beam-ups from allies and Thor – therefore, all was good.

Then again, nothing _ever_ goes as planned at the SGC… except for this morn- **Whir whir!** D'oh!

The klaxons screamed their warning at 7:24 in the morning. This was more than an alarm clock for SG-1. Jack almost jumped out of his skin, certainly not expecting the gate to be opened. _Shit…_Jack fell out of bed and took off down the hallway. Apparently, he'd been slow, the corridor was completely empty.

Sam felt like she had gotten a mere hour of sleep before another alarm clock rose to haunt her. Wait… didn't she break the alarm clock? Sam suddenly recognized the 'alarm clock' for what it really was. The gate klaxons! She jumped out of bed and started to take off to the control room. While in the hallway, she saw a very small man running the same way she was in very baggy clothing. They didn't have anyone that small on base…a kid? She called to him.

"Sir? Sir! Please stop!"

The kid turned around and gasped. She found herself face to face with the child and almost fainted from surprise.

"Jack!?"

And suddenly she noticed that everything around her was much higher than it should have been.

* * *

That was cruel... another cliffie... but the next chapt is coming out very very soon! like an hour soon... but how was it? 


	5. The Eye

"Carter?!" Jack heard his voice come out as a high pitched squeal compared to what he was used to. He noticed that the stripes on the floors where much closer than they should have been and the ceiling was to far away. What the hell had happened to him? Was he a little mouse, but then there was Carter. She was a child of about eight and she was lying in his arms. First mission was to find a mirror and avoid the Marines, or anyone else, at all costs. After that… it was make-it-up-as-you-go time.

He heaved Sam over his shoulder, it was the same as if he was big again – she was the same height as he was, but it didn't mean he was ten too, he hoped. The first place he thought about heaving her off to was Teal'c and Daniel's quarters. It was a good idea considering that they were probably in the gate room and that their rooms **_were_** closer. He made up his mind – that's where they were going.

"Its fine Carter, we'll see why we're small…" Jack muttered to himself not realizing that Sam was actually awake again.

"Sir? I'm touched," a squeaky voice emanated from his back. Jack was relieved to see that Sam was awake.

"Carter? You awake?"

"Yeah sir, you can put me down now." He put her on the ground carefully. They looked at each other carefully.

"Sir, you're… kinda cute when you were younger," Sam flattered.

"So it's true…" Jack mumbled unhappily.

"What sir?"

"Nothing… so were you Carter," he added looking her up and down. "So, we're both nine/ten, what about Danny and Teal'c then?"

"I don't know sir, but what I do know is that we need to get out of the corridor and find the two of them."

"Agreed Carter, let's go find them."

Sam and Jack's military training took over as they kept hidden from the sensors, cameras, and Marines. They swept around, hiding in the little alcoves on the base, managing to keep out of sight.

Jack peered around the corner covering Sam's front. The two were sharing hand motions for action. Carter ran to get in front of Jack and now the colonel covered his 2IC's six. The two soldiers managed to get pretty far down the hallway and almost reached the door of Teal'c's room.

"Hey! Let go of me! Stop that you oaf!" Sam spun around to see her commanding officer dangling from the hand of a Marine. She turned back around to find another Marine coming up behind her. She ran towards O'Neill and was grabbed by the same soldier that was holding Jack.

"Marine, let go of me now! Geroff!" she protested. The Marine holding them both was tall and very strong and he looked surprised at the strength and vigor of the two kids. The other Marine looked on and chuckled at the sight. The tall Marine, Captain Welles, shook the two and they quieted and he set them on the ground, still holding them.

"Now, what on Earth are you two kids doing here?"

Jack and Sam bristled at being called kids, even though they looked like kids. "I am Colonel Jack O'Neill and this is my second in command Major Samantha Carter, now… Let. Us. Go!" It didn't sound as impressive with a little squeaky voice like that. The two Marines actually laughed. Jack was kind of pissed now. He punched the captain, hard. The poor man doubled over in immense pain. Sam followed in his footsteps. She spun and hit the other man in the same place… just below his stomach.

As the two clutched their lower abdomen, O'Neill and Carter tore off to Teal'c's room, opened the door, ran inside, shut and locked it.

"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter?" a voice said, it lacked the deep boom it usually had, but still commanded one's attention.

"Jack? Sam? I guess we're not the only ones, are we…" a little high voice followed.

"Indeed not Daniel Jackson."

Sam and Jack turned around to find both Teal'c and Daniel as ten-year-olds standing in their presence. It was lucky for the two soldiers that the other two members of SG-1 had had the brains to group together.

_The irony,_ Jack thought wryly, _Teal'c is still taller than all of us and he's our 'age' now…_ "Anyone who thinks this has to do with the Cube, please raise your hands now," Jack commanded. The rest of SG-1 shared looks before responding. "Come on now, raise 'em up," Jack goaded.

"Jack, this might also have to do with the memories, I mean, there we were all about the same age, ten right?"

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "That may be the reason sir, it seems feasible."

Jack screwed up his face and plopped his head into his small hands. "What's Hammond gonna say about this one…?" The other two humans started to giggle. "What?"

"Nothing sir. Nothing at all."

"Carter, you realize how weird that sounds coming from a ten-year-old to another ten-year-old right?"

Sam simply smiled.

* * *

How was that, huh?


	6. The Wall

Thanks for all the kind reviews!

* * *

Jack clapped his hands together. "Sooo…. What's the plan…kids…?"

Daniel shrugged and smiled. Carter and Teal'c seemed to actually be thinking about something.

"Well sir, there will probably be people manning the corridors now that it seems matters with the gate are done… sooo-"

"We should report to General Hammond immediately," Teal'c finished. The three humans looked at him and giggled softly. Teal'c gave them the eyebrow, not exactly understanding what was so funny.

"Teal'c, you don't sound as impressive as you usually do with your really… I mean really deep voice," Daniel explained carefully. Teal'c nodded.

"Thank you, I believe I understand Daniel Jackson."

"So, like Teal'c said, we should find someone before someone finds us," Carter set out.

"And how do you figure we do that Carter? Someone is bound to find us the second we walk outta here. There **_is_** a guard just outside this door… somewhere."

"Jack, then what do we do? Wait until Hammond comes by looking for us because we didn't show for the debriefing?" The room fell silent at the inevitable. They all looked at each other, taking in what exactly had happened.

"Okay then…. Votes on what to do? Either walk out of here, get grabbed by the guards and taken roughly to Hammond or they'll confine us to quarters and Hammond will come down here and yell at us… or call Hammond and tell him that he's needed down here – and he'll still probably yell at us asking who we are, how we got here, etc…" Daniel raised a mock skeptical eyebrow.

"Jeez Jack, you'd think this had happened to you before." Little Jack scowled at little Daniel. It looked so funny on the face of a ten year old that Sam had to suppress a giggle.

"Something wrong major?" he demanded.

"N…no sir," she sputtered behind from behind her giggle.

"I didn't think so… now who votes for takin' a walk outside and getting a beating from those Marines?" No one raised their hand. "Good, now, what about calling Hammond down here in an elaborate plan?" The three humans raised their hand, but Teal'c didn't get the meaning of the gesture, so he cocked his eyebrow in confusion.

"I would prefer the second mission O'Neill." Like they said before, it didn't sound as impressive or scary without the deep voice.

--------

Hammond mulled around in his office. After the false gate alert, everyone had settled back down. He had expected to see SG-1 there, but didn't and now they were late for their debriefing. _Where the hell is SG-1?_ he thought to himself. The general was irked. He wanted to know what that cube was that they brought back from P7C-920 was. Hammond waltzed out of his office and looked at the cube that sat on his table in the debriefing room. It was actually kind of pretty, glowing almost imperceptibly. What had Carter said? It was phosphorescent? Yeah, that was it… damn that woman was smart. George smiled realizing that she was an important part of this operation and that he couldn't afford to lose her. If he lost her, then… Hammond stopped and chuckled, then he lost his finest officer, Colonel Jack O'Neill.

The relationship between the two of them was not lost on Hammond, or on anyone else for that matter. Everyone knew the two loved each other, but, at the same time, they could not because of regulations. Not that he was planning to lose either of them in anyway whatsoever.

_So then why am I thinking about it? _Hammond wondered briefly. _Must have been a passing thought…huh._

Then the phone rang in his office.


	7. The Storm Part 2

Sorry about the mistake of saying that this chapter was up... it really wasn't... hey! but now it is!

* * *

He picked it up with ease. It wasn't his red phone, but rather a normal phone. "Hammond," he answered.

"Sir? We need you down at the V.I.P. quarters as soon as it is possible for you. No need to hurry, nothing's wrong…we just need to… talk."

Hammond frowned, even though Jack couldn't se him. He noticed that his 2IC's voice seemed slightly off pitch and he began to wonder if everything really was alright. "Colonel? Are you sure you're not sick or something?"

"Uh, yeah. We're fine sir." By 'we,' Hammond assumed that all or part of SG-1 was there.

"So then why couldn't you bring this matter to my office colonel, if it's so important?" The general had just asked the logical question, well, the obvious question.

"Well sir, that's a long story. Just come down whenever you find it...convenient." With those last words, the phone hung up. Hammond thought that was a highly unusual phone call, even for his line of work. Hammond decided to go down there immediately to see what was up. He desperately hoped that none of the off-world teams were due back anytime soon.

Back in the V.I.P. room, SG-1 steeled themselves against their commanding officer's wrath. They tried to determine what kind of questions he might ask them and made up the answers. Jack, having done this before ironically, told them to stay calm and just be themselves.

Doing so, they sat on the floor against the bed, waiting for Hammond to show up at their doorstep. It seemed to be hours before a knock on the door came. Jack jumped out, unlocked it and sat back down with his team. If they were going to be yelled at, they were going to do it together.

"Its open sir," came a little squeaky voice from within. Hammond briefly wondered what on Earth they were doing… sucking on helium balloons? Never SG-1…at least he didn't think so. With these thoughts in mind, the general boldly stepped into the room… to find four ten year old staring back at him! The military demeanor came on instantly.

"**How on Earth did you get in here!** You kids are on **_federal property_**, do you have **_any_** idea what that means! You could be put in juvenile hall for this offense. Who are your parents and what kind of parents are they to let you roam around like this?" Hammond thought, in the calm part of his mind, that he was probably being so harsh with these young kids that they might start to cry and most certainly did not want a bunch of crying children on his hands.

But he looked into the eyes of these kids. They were intelligent, smug, and not amused. Their eyes seemed to hold to much intelligence for their age which led Hammond to doubt. He decided he was done with his tirade and went to catch his breath before summoning a guard to call these kids' parents.

He towered over them, yet they weren't scared. One of them spoke sarcastically with his little high voice.

"Nice to see you too general."

-

SG-1 had been expecting this, but not perhaps in its full force. They full well knew that he would see them as little sprats sitting in a high security military base – a place were ten year olds had no right in being.

Especially so close to the Stargate.

When Jack uttered those six words, it was like the world of General Hammond rocked on its axis. He was shocked to see such little kids talk to him like that. It was pretty amusing to see also. When the general stopped up short, Jack smirked triumphantly.

Jack's order had been to sit against the bed until he or Hammond said otherwise. So there they all sat, leaning up against Daniel's bed – their heads barely poking over the top.

"What did you say?" Hammond asked warily.

"I said that it was nice to see you too general." Jack's voice didn't sound as convincing or as sarcastic like this, not little and squeaky. O'Neill personally hated it, but he had no intention whatsoever to stay like this.

Hammond looked at the four children sitting in front of him. Two, the girl and the boy with glasses, Dr. Jackson if this **_was_** SG-1, were wearing oversized BDU's. On the other hand, the kid that looked like Teal'c and Jack O'Neill, were wearing something much more comfortable for bed. Even though Hammond had to be highly suspicious of these kinds of things happening and who was who, there was almost no doubt that this in fact **_was_** SG-1. All Hammond had to do was look at the little African American kid with the gold emblem on his head.

Hammond sat on the balls of his feet to get level with his flag team. "Jack? Major Carter? Dr. Jackson, Teal'c!" Hammond let out a burst of air as if he had been holding his breath, but it was out of pure disbelief. He looked at each one of them in turn. He noticed they were all smiling sweetly.

"Jack! What happened here?"

With that Hammond's eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he collapsed on the floor in a dead faint.


	8. Generals and Wheels

Sorry to leave you off on short an abrupt ending...here's the next chapter... my first story to make 8 chapters! I'm SOOOO happy! Thanks for all the encouragement too!

* * *

The team's eyes widened and eyebrows shot up into the hairline. They didn't actually think the general would faint! Now they **had** to act – somehow…

Teal'c took the matter into his own hands and heaved the general up over his shoulder. The team stood by and gaped at the sight. Apparently, although Teal'c was in a ten year olds body, he still was immensely strong. He took a deep breathe and let it out, as though he was under a lot of strain.

"Let us go!" he heaved. SG-1 took no time in obeying. They opened the door and took off for the infirmary, Jack and Sam in the lead on the lookout for the big Marines. Teal'c, however, could only take so much. After a couple minutes, Hammond slid down his shoulder and onto the floor. The big Jaffa was exhausted.

"T, you okay?"

"I will be fine O'Neill."

"Good." Jack clapped him on the back and turned to the rest of them. "We'll wait here for Teal'c to catch his breath. Carter, I need you to find something with wheels that we can put the general on and roll him around."

"On my way sir." Carter checked around the corner and sped off.

"Now we sit… and wait," Jack sighed.

A couple corridors down from the colonel's position, Sam was skittering through some old junk in a storage room looking desperately for table or a used gurney with wheels. Sam looked around worriedly. She saw a broken down table… thing that looked like it used to have wheels, but didn't anymore. Grabbing this, the major looked for the wheels that might fix the thing.

_There! In the corner… come on Sam!_ she thought happily. That lasted all of a second before she realized that those wheels were meant for something much bigger than the spokes of the broken down gurney she'd found. Sam looked at the parts that she wanted to use and thought.

_Looks like I'm gonna have to MacGyver something together out of this stuff… now let's see…_The small major picked up the wheels and some extra dowels… bigger ones. Sam fiddled around with them before deciding how exactly to go about this. She knew she had to retrofit the wheels to the cart, but how?

"Come on Carter… where are you?" Jack mumbled to himself. He was also trying not to contemplate what would happen if they didn't get out of this form. He came up with one answer:

It'd suck.

Yeah, definitely. The colonel reminded himself to stop thinking about his form and continue brooding over Sam. As if on command, Carter appeared from around the corner with a jerry-rigged gurney thing with oversized wheels. It would have to do.

"Okay everyone, lift him on three. 1…2…3!" With a heave and some grunts, the team successfully lifted Hammond onto the cart. "Okay people, let's go," Jack ordered.

They decided to do it like this: all of them would push until they got enough momentum to keep going with one person pushing. The rest of them would get in the undercarriage. After the pusher got tired, he or she'd switch with another one of them. Teal'c was designated to be first. Sam, Jack, and Daniel seemed to be having the time of their lives as Teal'c pushed the general and three 'stowaways' at his top speed down a hallway full of military personnel. At one point, they even had someone chase them for a couple yards.

Barreling around a corner, it was Jack's turn to push. Teal'c jumped in as Jack jumped out and grabbed a hold of the bars and ran. He stopped at the next corner, looking about carefully. It was the elevator. They all sat still, determining what to do. Jack motioned for Carter to go survey the situation. She nodded and snuck out.

Sam looked around the corner to see the elevator doors open up slowly. A man walked out, a sergeant to be precise. The major flattened herself against the wall, a signal for the others to be quiet and do the same. The man strode down the corridor without any look back. Relieved, Sam peered into the open elevator, it was empty! She quickly motioned them to come and ran to hold the door open.

A metal thing on wheels flew by her and into the car, at this Sam hit the 'close door' button and waited for the electronics to do their work. Once the doors slammed shut, Carter slumped against the wall. Teal'c took the liberty of crawling on top of the cart and pressing the button for level 21, Janet's Lair.

Four levels up and a minute later, the metal cart flew down to the infirmary with Jack at the 'wheel.' He saw the door of the infamous infirmary loom in front of him. O'Neill ran as fast as he could, pushed the cart just as hard, and hopped into the undercarriage with the others. He figured the momentum would get Hammond barely through the doors and no further. Hammond and his make-shift transportation screeched to a halt in the doorway. This action, catching both the doc's eye and ear, wandered over to investigate. She gasped slightly.

"Corporal, get the general into a bed and get him on an I.V.," she ordered. She checked the general's eyes with a small penlight to see if he was still responsive or not.

_Good,_ she thought, _he hasn't gone into a comatose state._ Janet, with a flick of her hand, ordered the 'gurney' out of her infirmary, but before the orderly could completely do his job, two reflections of light caught her eye. The glint of glasses on the lights. She spun to find four ten year olds sitting in her infirmary looking like they'd been caught doing something very bad.

"Hi," they chimed weakly.


	9. Hammond Rising

A very special thanks to iamdragonrider for the medical jargon... THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!

lol.. anyway, on to the story!

* * *

"Mam, he's got high BP." 

"Give him some D20 and fluids." She frowned, thinking.

"He's awake." Janet strolled over to the general. Little did she know, the team was by his side too.

"Well hello general. Glad to see your back."

"Thank you doctor. What happened?"

"You fainted and have high blood pressure. General, over the last couple of days, were you feeling any kind of numbness for maybe a couple minutes or so?" Hammond thought then nodded his head.

"Yes mam, as a matter of fact, yesterday, my arm fell asleep for a bit. I figured I'd been leaning on it to long or old age. No big deal."

"Actually sir, it might be. I think you had a TIA - transient ischemia attack. Think of it as a warning sign for a stroke. I doubt you'll have one though. I'm going to keep you here for the rest of the day and at the end, I'll let you go home. Now, do you know were Colonel O'Neill is?" Hammond nodded weakly and pointed at her feet. This time instead of acting like shy children, they looked worried.

"How is he?" Sam asked.

"Who are you?"

"Jan! What do you mean 'who are you?' It's me, Sam – Sam Carter!" Janet gave her the **_very_** skeptical look.

"And I'm the President of the USA. And this is the colonel, Daniel, and……..Teal'c!"

He bowed his head. "I am indeed he, Doctor Frasier." She took a seat, stunned.

"Wow… what happened to you guys?"

"Umm… we don't actually know, but it has to do something with that damned Cube."

Janet actually giggled. "Colonel, you sound so cute with that little squeaky voice of yours!"

"Doc, don't **_even_** go there," he threatened.

"Whatever, you guys, hop up on the bed."

They looked up.

"Um Doc?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah?"

"Look at us… look at the bed." Janet did so.

"Oh… oh!" She chuckled evilly. "Righty then, up you go." Sam grinned happily as Janet lifted her up, then a neutral Daniel, a grim Teal'c, and…

"Doc! Don't you dare!" the last scowled menacingly. She grinned and reached for the little colonel anyway. "Oh no you don't! You are **_not_** lifting me up there!" Jack moved out of her reach and took shelter behind a piece of equipment. His scowl grew.

Janet looked like she was having fun. "Oh colonel, come out, come out wherever you are," she called.

"Doc, you let me get on the bed myself."

"But you can't get on by yourself colonel."

"Wanta bet?"

"Sure."

"20 says I can do it."

Janet smiled again. "You're on, colonel."

"Will you give me free passage to the bed?"

"Yeah and if you miss, I get to pick you up?"

"Maybe."

"Better than nothing." Sam was rather amazed that the doctor was actually going to let Jack do this, he could hurt himself. But while Jack was getting warmed up, she flashed a quick grin to Hammond – who was chuckling at his little 2IC's antics, and to the rest of SG-1. Carter knew that Janet sure as hell wasn't going to let the colonel jump to the bed.

"Come on colonel; don't think you can make it?" Sam jeered playfully. He turned his stony glare to her. Unfazed, she smiled mildly.

"Ah Jack, come on! You can't fall, that's my job!" Daniel didn't bother to hold back, his face split open in a wide grin.

Instead of taking it as a jest, Jack used the comment to his advantage. "Exactly why I won't miss and **_you_** won't pick me up!"

"Whatever," the doctor shrugged.

"Okay… three, two… one!" Jack ran for it. Janet smiled as she stepped in his way; Jack saw it coming and ducked under her. The colonel ducked under the bed, grabbed the bedrail, and swung himself up and over the rail to land in the bed. They gaped as Jack sat innocently in the bed amongst his team members.

"Wow."


	10. Pipsqueak

A/N: Wow... I'm sorry these are coming out sooooo slowly but they're coming all the same so... on to the story!

* * *

He smiled innocently. "What?" 

"Colonel… I wasn't aware that you were taking gymnastics…" Hammond said. Jack scowled back.

"Well sir, they come in handy sometimes. Daniel should take some." Jack smiled. Sam nudged the small archeologist.

"Ooh," she said menacingly. "You gonna take that?"

Daniel looked smug. "Well at least I know how to count fish in a pond."

The two fully grown adults looked rather amused at this argument.

"Well at least I know when to stay dead… or alive."

"At least I don't go around getting my head stuck in things that it's not supposed to be in."

Hammond grinned despite himself. "He's right colonel," Hammond stopped him just as he opened his mouth.

"Sir! Who's side are you on?" he whined playfully.

"Doc, get some tests done on them."

"Yes sir. As for you general, when you go home, you are to take it easy for the next couple of days."

"But!"

"No buts, you will take it easy or I will hunt you down a stick a needle in you."

"Yes mam," he complied meekly.

"Good, now colonel, come here."

-

"It's them sir," Janet announced in the Briefing Room. Janet had finally let the general up, but he most certainly wasn't doing anything. He did need to be informed on this matter though. The doc looked to the other side of the table to see two heads peering over the edge owlishly. She smiled.

"This sucks…" one unhappy voice mumbled next to her. Frasier looked at the mini colonel next to her.

"Try to have fun colonel. It'll make **_my_** job that much easier." He glared at her. Hammond clapped his hands together.

"SG-1, you are on leave for as long as we can figure this out. And-"

"Uh sir? I have work to finish on a naquada generator."

"Yeah sir, I need to finish some translations too." He stared at them. Hammond thought they were nuts. _Then again_, he realized, _they can't exactly go anywhere. They can't drive._

"Right, when you're done or ready to go home, give me a ring here. I'll be waiting."

"Thank you sir."

"Indeed you are doing us a great favor General Hammond." They all looked at Teal'c and smiled. He frowned, still not willing to talk for this reason.

"Dismissed." The 'kids' hopped down from the chairs and took off through the door. Jack went with Carter and Teal'c went with Daniel because he was needed.

_**In Daniel's Lab**_

Teal'c and Daniel poured over some old text they'd found on a recent mission. The text seemed to be related to Ancient Egyptian/Goa'uld. Daniel sighed, his work getting to him.

"Hey Teal'c?" The Jaffa in question tilted his head and raised the eyebrow in question – still refusing to speak. "I'm bored." Teal'c seemed slightly taken aback. Daniel looked at him. "Hey! Wanta play somethin'?" he asked excitedly.

"I know of none of your Tau'ri games Daniel Jackson."

"That's okay, I'll teach you!" Daniel was ready to bounce off his chair when someone knocked at his door. It was one of the other translators. Being apprised of Daniel's situation, the doctor wasn't as surprised as he was before.

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Yup, that's me!"

"Uh, could you translate this?" Daniel glanced at it and scoffed.

"Translate it yourself, I wanta go play. Come on Teal'c!" The doctor was surprised now; he didn't think Dr. Jackson would do that. Daniel hopped off his chair and started to walk out the door and stopped dead.

"Holy shit…" he muttered apologetically. "I'm so sorry Dr. Hinmer… I'm so incredibly sorry; I don't know what came over me," he sputtered. Daniel clambered back on the chair, translated the simple phrase for him, said sorry again, and the man walked out.

Daniel placed a confused head in enfolded arms. "What was I thinking!" came the muffled cry. "I must be going mad or something."

"You were most certainly not yourself."

"I realized that, but why?"


	11. Not Cruvis? Oh

"This I do not know."

"Maybe we should find out?" Daniel added sarcastically. Teal'c nodded his head in acquiesce. Daniel sighed in defeat. "Great, know I even sound like Jack. Something has GOT to be wrong with me."

As they walked out Teal'c muttered something sounding like "Indeed Daniel Jackson… indeed."

_**The Evil Lair of Janet the Doc**_

"Well, it'll take a couple of days before the CAT scans and the MRI's come back, but you seem to be fine."

"Well I don't **_feel_** fine doc." The annoyed doctor placed hands on hips.

"What exactly do you mean Colonel O'Neill?"

The colonel sighed. "Let's just say that I was skipping along singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and "Ring around the Rosy." Jack glared at her. "I am not okay."

Janet turned her back on him for a moment. "I thought you might say cruvis…"

"What did you say?"

"I said that your behavior might just prove this."

"Prove what?" Janet sighed inwardly. He believed her!

"Your odd behavior and possibly your CAT scans – though they might not show it- could explain a theory I have."

"Well, enlighten me."

"It has a lot to do with-"

"Hey guys!" Janet looked down at two other ten year olds. The one with glasses beamed at her, though the one with the funny tattoo scowled.

"Hey Daniel, Teal'c."

Teal'c bowed his head gracefully. Frasier was amused at his silence. He usually returned a hello, but she knew why he didn't. She grinned at him.

"Good timing you guys. Hop on up." Daniel clambered up the bed and plopped down next to Jack.

"Hiya Jack."

"Hi Daniel. Little too happy today I see."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. Wait…" Jack smiled as the archeologist pondered his word choice. Janet 'hrphmed' and continued with her speech.

"Anyway, as I was saying, my theory on your behavioral problems is-"

"Hey Jan?" She sighed impatiently.

"Sam? Is that you?"

"Oops, sorry. Are you in the middle of something?"

"Nah, not really, just giving a lecture on theories to these guys, that's all."

Sam smiled weakly. "Yeah, well I got my own problems." Janet warmly patted a space next to Daniel.

"Come up Carter, the bedding's fine."

"I think I'll take you up on that sir."

"Good. Doc…?" Janet lifted her up and placed her down on the bed too.

"So Sam, what's with you?"

"Well, I was checking some data and working on the reactor and I couldn't keep focus." Daniel and Jack marveled at this and she noticed. Sam glared at them.

"Sam, that's common for people that work hard and long."

"No, I mean I **_could not_** keep focus. I wanted to play with… dolls, Legos, action figures. Kid stuff!"

"Oh."

"Doc? Why don't you just call Hammond so he can hear you out too."

She nodded and headed off to the phone. Jack took in his inventory. He never truly realized how damn big the SGC was. This place was overwhelming if you got down to a ten-year-olds point of view. Yikes…

"Yes sir. See you in a bit." The doctor hung up. "He's on his way." Jack nodded in approval.

"Good… now we just sit tight and try not to act to badly." He turned sarcastically stern. "Now campers, no peeing on the bed sheets, whining, crying, and no being children. We're warriors, let's act like some."

They looked amused and stunned at the same time from Jack's speech. Daniel meekly raised his hand.

"Jack? I gotta go pee."


	12. Grampy?

A/N: Sorry I took so darned long... i had THREE projects... THREE! can you believe it! anyway... chapt 12 and THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH for all the very kind reviews! keep 'em coming, lol. on to the story!

* * *

Hammond came into the room all off five minutes later to see his SG-1 behaving like the good, sweet little children they were. Riiiight… 

He chuckled softly at their attention. _Hehe, my kids… no, my minions. Yes that sounds good, Hammond's minions. My minions are behaving for once._ He turned to Janet. She sighed and went about trying to explain what she had been trying to say for the last ten minutes.

"I believe that your brains are reverting to the way they were when you were this age. This might be the reason for the childish instincts and acts. Fortunately, you'll retain all of your current memories. For an odd analogy, it would seem that half your brain wants to be kid and the other half says adult. You're all going to have to let the change and the sharing happen, it'll make your lives easier than trying to fight it."

They nodded. Jack didn't look to happy and Teal'c looked well… intrigued. Janet turned a watchful eye on her CO. "Sir, you are doing your best to 'take it easy' right?"

Hammond paled and blushed – he actually blushed! This was done much to the amusement of SG-1. "Yes ma'am."

"Good. This weekend you'll all be going home. The general has offered to drive so I guess you'll be a new addition to his grandkids for a bit." Jack looked up at Hammond, mock fear in his eyes.

"Grandchildren sir?"

He smiled happily. "Yep. I'll meet you all at my office at the end of the day then."

Jack sighed heavily.

"Yes… grandpa." Hammond scowled at him and Jack grinned along with Daniel and Sam.

"Yes grandpa," they chimed. The general couldn't resist their faces beaming up at him. He started chuckling. He turned to Janet again.

"I don't have to spoil them lavishly right doc? I mean they're only my 'grandkids' for a little bit."

"Are you trying to say something gramps?" Jack said at the same time as Janet said "You spoil your grandkids sir?"

* * *

It was finally the end of the day. SG-1 was sick and tired of repeatedly explaining to the Marines who they were, even though the Marines knew full well what had happened. They were sick of people yelling at them, looking at them curiously or like they were their own kids, or even cuddling them. THAT was embarrassing. Even Hammond was having fun with them – sneaking up and ruffling their hair, in the case of Jack, Daniel, and Sam. Teal'c dodged Hammond's attempts to be too friendly.

Next came Siler.

They arrived in the gate room to witness the destruction of SG-5 and 7. They had come through with enemy fire on their tail. The gate room was pretty beat up and Sam had wanted to help clean up. Besides, some of the controls and what-have-you was destroyed and the major was convinced that they needed her help – even if she was half everyone else's size. Siler arrived on the scene. He peered down at the team through his glasses; a curious and confused look controlled his eyes. Then they cleared in understanding. He'd been briefed and/or told by rumor what had happened to the flag team. He'd also been the one to transport the supposedly turned off box to Area 51 – well, he wasn't getting any younger, was he?

"Well, hello there. What are you kids doing here?" he said as seriously as possible. A smile was suppressed behind his façade.

"Ha ha Siler."

He played well.

"Siler… how do you know my name?"

Jack glared at him. "You know what? You were gonna get my Simpson's collection…" He stalked away. Siler grinned at Carter.

"Mind helping us mam? You could get in under the gate or whatever."

"Yeah sure….Siler." They smiled and Sam went off to help the crew. Daniel and Teal'c grinned at each other. They stood around being useless, watching the SGC scurry around to clean up the place.

* * *

How was it? any better, worse? tell me plz... what do you guys want to see? (uh oh... that should be dangerous... yes!) 


	13. Advice: Don't Anger Doctors

A/N: OMG! I'm sooooooooo sorry about the immensely long wait! let me just tell you that three (massive)project due within a week of each other, procastination, real life, coupled with a massive attack of writer's block is not a good thing. this is my reason, i hope to get more out to all of you!

* * *

They all arrived in Hammond's office at the appropriate time. They were none to surprised to see Frasier standing either. She had arrived on the scene to see that SG-1 didn't over-use or abuse these "new" bodies. She was there to ask the same of Hammond. She waited patiently, tapping her foot to keep her busy. All of SG-1 arrived before their commanding officer. And Frasier was wondering where the heck he was when she had specifically asked him to stay put. 

Of course, men never listen…

"Hey doc," came the little voice. She bit her lip to hold in a smile.

"Hey colonel, **_Jack._**"

"You can't call me that!" he protested angrily. He wasn't going to take that! He still had his rank, despite his size.

She smiled deviously. "Hammond gave me permission." Jack pointedly glared at her. He resigned, realizing he couldn't do much, with a deep sigh.

"I should come over there and start beating on you doc. Power monger…"

"I prefer needle-wielder."

Jack humphed. Then Hammond came waltzing through the door, slightly out of breath. The doctor rounded on him and SG-1 knew he was in deep shit.

"Where have you been sir?"

"That's no matt-"

"It is when it concerns my patient."

Hammond scowled. "Talking to a Marine, then I sped off down here…" He trailed off, that was the wrong thing to say.

"You actually ran!"

"No I-"

"I said take it easy sir!"

"I-"

"No, you weren't." She rounded on all of them suddenly. "Don't any of you know what a break is?" Jack raised his hand.

"I do. It's fishing in my pond that-"

"Has no fish," Teal'c, Carter, and Daniel finished for him.

"Right."

"I do."

"Don't go there Danny boy, you have no clue."

"I know **_what_** it is, it doesn't mean I **_take_** any." He grinned proudly. Jack scowled at him. Frasier and Hammond, amused, watched the proceedings below them.

"Anyway," Frasier continued to the 'kids.' "You are not to work overtime, have **beer**… colonel, or have coffee."

"WHAT!"

OOOOOOOOOO

"Apple juice, I can't **_believe_** she actually said 'Apple juice is strong enough.' I mean, how the hell am I going to wake up!"

"Are you kidding Jack, I feel your pain. I'm a bigger coffeeholic than you are."

"No you're- yes you are. You drowned it in the first time we met. When you were deciphering the gate there?" Daniel nodded in remembrance.

"Good times then," he countered sarcastically.

"Not really."

"No, you're right, I was picked on… oh, no, right. Sorry Jack."

"Hey, what?"

"Nothing." A sear of pain flashed across Daniel's head.

"_I can't decipher the gate without this last symbol and… I can't find it. It's not part of the cartouche…" "Geek." "You're never gonna get us home." _

" _AHHHHHH JAAAAAAACK!"_

"_For the love of…" _

"_I knew you could do it the whole time."_

"_Sure Feretti."_

"_Daniel, moonshine!"_

The pain passed as did the memory. Daniel smiled at the last and rubbed his head. Being around Jack, Sam, and Teal'c the last seven years had made him rather resistant to pain. Still, he rubbed it like a headache.

"Ooh… Tylenol… I'm sorry I ever doubted you," he moaned.

"What's up Daniel?"

"Nothing Sam, just a massive headache."

"Nuke sized?"

"Naquada enhanced."

"Ooh…"

Hammond, who was driving, smiled at the light banter. Despite the circumstance, his SG-1 was still about the same.

Jack's house was the destination for the team and Hammond. Hammond was to stay with them in case of emergency or driving matters. They were to stay with Hammond in case of a relapse… or something. They unloaded the car and Jack opened his house for business.


	14. Call Me!

Wow... sorry that took so long, but now you guys get a double dose with another chapter to be typed, that'll come tomorrow (i hope), so read on! and thanks for all the nice reviews!

* * *

The second everyone settled in his house, Jack hopped online. _Jeez, you can find EVRYTHING online these days…_ he thought, slightly disgusted, but today, it served his purposes. 

Once on one of those reverse look-up search things for people, O'Neill typed in Chris Parson into the database. A few seconds later, the results spat out. The computer showed 41 results. He peered at the first five. One of them lived in Colorado Springs. Jack smiled wryly. _What a coincidence._ The man was the same age as Daniel, obviously. Jack emailed the address and waited for a response. The colonel's email went something like this:

To: Chris Parson, Ph.D  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: A Mutual Friend…

Hi! I'm Jack O'Neill and I have a friend who hasn't seen you for eons... or however you spell that…. His name is Dr. Daniel Jackson. I'm sure you remember it from your school days together. He'd REALLY like to see you… (I mean **_really_**, he's been buggin' me for days!) Problem is, he's out of the country and he'd like you to watch his… nephew. They look like twins, I swear. As soon as he comes back though, to pick up his nephew, he'd like to see you.

I know this is kinda odd, not to mention completely random, but I just thought I'd let you know.

After sending the email, he waited for a response. Teachers respond to emails fast enough, don't they? Jack saw the man was a teacher, or professor, at the local college, University of Colorado at Colorado Springs from the email address, it was only to be expected after all… He gazed over at the other three sitting on the couch, all leaning on Hammond as he contently watched _Law and Order_. Daniel shuffled around some, settled back down and smiled tiredly. It had been a looong day for the nine/ten year olds and now was bedtime. Sorta.

Jack looked at his clock. Seven thirty… wow. It was only seven-thirty, they hadn't eaten yet, and they were all pooped by one day. _We're pathaaaa-aatic._ He stuttered in his thoughts as he yawned deeply. Five minutes later, the computer bleeped, kindly alerting him of an email.

To: O'Neill, Jack  
CC:  
BCC:  
Subject: Re: A Mutual Friend…

Hi!

Are you serious, Danny's still alive out there? Hehe, just kidding. Sure, I'd love to see him. Are you located in Colorado Springs? Or anywhere near there? If so, just tell me where we should meet… here's my phone #: 719-570-8923

ttyl… oops sorry, I spend too much time around kids…. Talk to ya later!

Jack's first thought after reading the mail was _Isn't he trusting, sending his phone number online. Figures he's Daniel's friend…_

_

* * *

A/N: Before anyone asks, yes, **I** know how to spell **aeons**, but whats to say Jack does? Soo.. how'd ya like it?  
_


	15. I Want to Tell You

The next morning, they all headed out to the meeting place. Daniel was wringing his hands, despite everyone's reassurances.

He stood there, waiting. A firm hand pressed on his shoulder comfortingly. Daniel turned to smile at Jack. He was nervous and the whole team could tell. The tension flowed through his body, even Hammond noticed. Daniel grinned to himself, his best friends were around him. The blue Mini Cooper S pulled up. Daniel bit his lip – that was **definitely** Chris. He had loved those things.

A cheerful man popped his head out and the archeologist's breath caught uin his throat.

"Go get him Danny!" Jack whispered encouragingly. He got a weak smile in return. Jack could understand, to some extent. Daniel hadn't seen this man in some twenty years and he couldn't even speak to him as the real Daniel instead of his nephew. Chris Parson strolled over to General Hammond.

"Hello, General Hammond, I presume?" Daniel slammed a small hand over his mouth to suppress a giggle. SG-1 looked at him oddly.

"Old private joke," he whispered to quench their curiosity. Chris looked down at the gaggle of kids at Hammond's feet. His bright blue eyes scanned the group. His eyes rested on Daniel and they both felt their hearts skip a beat. Jack smiled at Sam and Teal'c and shoved Daniel out in front of them.

Chris knelt down in front of his friend. "Daniel?" he muttered, hoping. The team and Hammond were astonished, how did he know that?

Daniel obeidantly played the part of a ten-year-old. "Yeah?" he muttered looking up into Chris' eyes. "Are you Chris? My uncle's old best friend?"

Chris nodded dumbly. "You look just like him and I mean exactly like him."

"So I've been told."

"So… how's your uncle doing these days?"

Daniel started to play out the innocent happiness of someone who looked his age and Chris believed it. They got comfortable with each other very quickly. Chris looked back up at the group to see Jack and Sam smiling widely – all teeth showing. Startled by this picture, Parson laughed.

"Daniel, are these your friends?"

"Uh huh," he answered. He walked up to SG-1 and pointed them out to his friend. "This is Co- Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, and Murray. They're my buddies!" Jack rolled his eyes, but secretly appreciated the little-kid-ness. Daniel sauntered back over to his friend happily, his glasses slipping down his nose.

"So Chris… whadda you do?" Daniel was curious to what his adult friend was up to nowadays. His own blue/green eyes searched Chris' bright blue ones, his black, spiky hair, and sort of tanned skin. His happy and open face turned to momentary confusion.

"What do you mean Danny?" Jack scowled at the pet name and Daniel smiled as of he knew what Jack's expression was.

"Like now you're a grownup, what do you do for a living?"

"Oh! I'm an anthropologist and I speak, read, and write… oh, I don't know… 16, 17, maybe 18 languages. I also dabbled in science as a physicist, even got a minor – very small one mind you – in astrophysics. Do you know all those words?" Chris figured maybe Daniel, that is this Daniel's 'uncle,' taught him what an anthropologist was. He noticed the blond girl, Sam's; face light up at the mention of physics and his degree.

Sam seemed to notice his causal scrutiny of her. "My mom's an astrophysicist. She taught me a bunch about the topic." Parson mouthed out an "oh!" Hammond chuckled inwardly and coughed into his fist politely. They all looked at him.

"Let's say we bring this indoors, we can use **my** cabin."

Chris nodded and only SG-1 noticed the slight stress on "my." Jack had agreed to lend his cabin for the reunion. While Chris looked away, Hammond and Jack exchanged a small nod. Daniel turned to Jack and Hammond. He pointed over his shoulder at Chris' car.

"I'm uh, gonna go with Chris, general."

"That's fine son."

"I'm coming with you Danny." Daniel rolled his eyes, the over-protection was expected from Jack and knew that there was no way to change his mind.

"Fine."

"So general, should I just follow you?" Chris asked.

"Yeah sure." Daniel now played his part.

"Come on! Let's go to the general's house!" he whined impatiently tugging on Chris' pants. Chris laughed good-naturedly. Hammond smiled at them as he hopped in the car. Parson gathered up the 'kids' and got them into the tiny Mini.

* * *

A/N: Chris Parson is of my own desperate ramblings, as you see in the first chapter, this is Daniel's friend. But there is a Chris Parson that does live in Colorado Springs (weird huh?) If you are that person, sorry! He needed to be conviently close, tis all... 


	16. Hint hint, clue clue

"Sir? What are we going to do at the colonel's house? I mean, Daniel and Chris will want to be together," Sam asked in the general's car.

"I don't know – Sammy." She scowled in the rearview mirror. The major had no idea how long he'd wanted to do that for. Hammond laughed at Sam's expression.

"Soo… what's good old Daniel up to now?" Sitting next to each other, Daniel glanced at Jack worriedly. He shrugged and gave an expression saying 'make-it-up.' So he did.

"Uh Uncle Danny's good, he's outta the country on some kinda dig in… umm… Egypt, I think. The place with those really big pyramids."

"Lucky…" Chris muttered.

"Yeah, I guess, but it's—"

"Hot, full of scorpions, sandy, windy, and it's a country in political ruin."

"Jaa-aack!" Daniel complained. "It's a really nice place believe it or not!"

Chris' eyes widened. "You've been?"

Daniel blushed. "Yeah," he muttered. Damn… he'd let something slip.

"Let me guess, your uncle took you."

"Yup!"

"I haven't gotten to go yet. The institution can't or won't fund me. I'm thinking the latter."

"Which one!" Daniel asked angrily, forgetting himself. Jack hissed at him.

"Daniel!" Chris thought it was perfectly normal since Daniel Jackson was his uncle.

"Oh some society. The college I teach at has been trying to fund a trip there for years now."

"Well that's not very nice," Daniel countered stubbornly.

"Yeah well, life ain't fair and the world may suck-"

"But there's always a chance for more," they finished together. Chris smiled; the kid did know that one!

"Ya know, a while ago, my uncle mentioned something about talking rocks…?" Daniel prompted. He feigned a face of utter confusion. _Uh oh,_ Jack thought, _This is gonna be good!_

Chris erupted in laughter. "He did! Ah jeez…"

Daniel grinned at the mini colonel. "You're gonna like this one Jack."

"I bet…" So Chris told the highly amusing story of talking rocks, thus revealing some more of Daniel's past.

"See, long time ago, Daniel's foster dad just wanted him to follow whatever job he put his heart into – of course, in his case, it was archeology. So then his foster dad said something like "Nice subject. I've heard that the rocks actually speak to you." Of course he meant in ancient writings or something… but we were kids and kids are kids." Chris winked in the mirror. Jack glared back playfully.

"You trying to say something bub?" Jack mockingly demanded. It almost sounded like he was being fresh, but Chris laughed and shook his head. "Good, then go on, I'm dying to know what happened."

"Anyway, intrigued, Danny and I went outside, grabbed a lot of rocks, and held them up to our ears. We even smashed them to see if they'd cry. After hearing nothing and almost a whole day wasted, we went inside tearing because we couldn't hear the rocks."

Jack smiled now. Daniel instantly knew then that he was never going to be able to live that down. And, as far as he knew, there was nothing with which he could counter with – yet.

"67y67," Daniel mumbled again, trying to resurface good old memories.

"That one too?" Chris asked incredulously. Jack was beginning to be afraid… of the two and that Chris wasn't watching where he was going. Daniel nodded and smiled.

"What's that? 67y67, or do I want to know?"

"Well, it consisted of broken keyboards and bruised foreheads." Daniel nodded and continued Chris' explanation.

"Relaxation Code 102."

"What's 101?" Jack asked cautiously.

"Mygth," Daniel answered as Chris smiled widely. Poor Jack put his head in his hands in mock disgrace… or perhaps true disgrace.

"Oy…"

* * *

how do ya like Daniel's attempt of dropping hints? I think Chris should start to suspect something... jeez he's blunt... (now who's fault is that?) oh be quiet muse... 


	17. Does He?

Be warned, this is a rather wordy chapter.

* * *

The three of them arrived at the house falling out of the car, quite literally. All of the men, well the man and the two 'children,' were beet faced from laughing so hard on the car trip. 

Sam, Teal'c and Hammond peered at them like they all had multiple heads. Of all the things they'd seen, this was undoubtedly one of the strangest. Jack, Daniel, and Chris caught the look on their faces and that spawned another bout of laughter.

"Oh?" Sam asked suspiciously.

Hammond, Carter, and Teal'c all had the raised eyebrow look on that they'd learned.

All of three minutes later, Jack stopped laughing. He was the first. Actually, he'd been startled. It wasn't like him to open up like that so much - laughing that damn hard – though it had been fun. He grinned at the thought.

Jack had been having problems letting his other side possess half his brain, as Janet had put it. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the childish-not him emotions coming to front. He'd been learning to hide it all behind a stone mask for all these years. Now it just came tumbling down. All the others seemed to be taking pretty well.

He didn't want it all coming suddenly. Jack wanted to relax into the "condition" if he had to. And Janet said he did. Jack gave an inward sigh that was resigned. He would let himself take on these new emotions and feelings – but very slowly and **only** very slowly. He wanted time to adjust.

If his teammates could deal with it, he could too, but it wasn't that easy. Jack wasn't ready to expose himself that much. It was hard, but to keep fighting it was to make things worse for himself and, ultimately, his team.

The micro-colonel looked back at his old friend and new friend, still wheezing and smiled at them.

_Ya know, I really like that guy!_ Jack thought happily then checked himself. _Whoa… that was weird. But he is pretty cool… despite the fact he's Daniel's friend. Hold on, **I'm** **also** Daniel's friend… oops._ He chortled to himself and ran to Hammond.

He grabbed his keys from the general and ran to the house to open it up again.

"Welcome back to m- the general's house!" He said it with such enthusiasm that Hammond had to grin. He shuffled the kids and one other adult into his 2IC's house.

"Everyone's welcome to crash. Including you Dr. Parson." Hammond smiled warmly at the man. Daniel immediately felt better that the general liked his best friend. The general wouldn't have just let **anyone** into the "family."

Chris shook the general's hand gratefully. "Chris will do just fine sir."

Hammond smiled back. "Then George will do fine too. I guess we'll _drop the ranks_ for now." Then he turned to his charges. "That is until I see you at the base soldiers!" he said mockingly. They all giggled, except Teal'c who smiled in his peculiar way. Immediately they all straightened and threw off a salute.

"Sir yes sir!" they yelled in their scrawny voices. Chris was amused and amazed, to say the least.

"Can you teach me how to get my kid to do that?"

They just laughed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So whadda want to talk about Chris?"

He shrugged. What was there to talk about with a ten year old? Especially one that wasn't, but Chris didn't know that. Daniel suspected that Chris hadn't caught on yet. It was only a matter of time until someone figured it out.

"How old are you Danny?" Chris pondered out of the blue. Daniel didn't actually know, so he made it up. He was going to be nine.

"I'm nine!" he said proudly, showing that many fingers. Chris "mmmm"ed. Daniel became kind of surprised, maybe Chris had caught on! That would be bad.

So far the man hadn't made any attempt to tickle him or do anything childish. Daniel would have if it was Chris' kid… dang.

Chris had noticed a certain kind of intelligence behind those childish eyes. The kid knew a lot for being Daniel's nephew. For God's sake, he didn't see his nephew enough where he told him that much about his own childhood.

_I don't think my nephew even knows about Daniel, does he? No, I never told Jason about him… Daniel most have spent a huge amount of time with this kid._

Daniel started bouncing on the bed, a sign of impatience, but it was leading up to something.

"Hey! Wanna drink Chris?" the archeologist (shrunken) asked his pal. Before he could answer, Daniel ran out of the room. Chris smiled and followed more slowly.

Daniel ran straight to the kitchen where Hammond and the others stood. So he voiced his findings.

"Hey guys, I think Chris guessed something here."

"What do we do sir?" Sam asked Hammond. Hammond peered at Chris standing by a chair, scratching his neck.

"We wait until he thinks he knows for sure."

* * *

_So, you guys like it still or what? I dont think I'm writing as well as I was... but thats up to you! Review please!_


	18. Pictures and Apples

"Okay, sure," he muttered to the rest.

"Tell us if you find out anything more."

He nodded, then to Chris he yelled, "Whadda want Chris?"

Chris turned to the voice and found a head poking over the counter. "Orange juice will be fine, Danny."

"Ok!" Slowly, Daniel brought the awaited drink to Chris. In turn, he looked back at the pictures on the wall. Very few, but all of one or two people. Something was happening here that he didn't know about. So he was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Gen- George, who's this?" he asked innocently.

Hammond glanced down cautiously at Jack. The general hadn't had to make a cover story for quite sometime. But it wasn't something one forgot quickly. Hammond walked out from behind the counter to inspect the pictures.

"That's my son. Jack," the general bluffed. Chris smiled, it looked half fake though. The pictures there were of Jack in his uniforms, Jack fishing, Jack with his old military buddies, and one of all of them. Including big Daniel.

"Who are they?" Chris asked again, this time at the people.

"Jack's in the military, as you know. This is him in Kuwait. This is him and his friends Major Kawalski and Feretti. This is a picture of me, Daniel Jackson, Major Sam Carter, and M… Tom." He made up Teal'c's name quickly, belatedly remembering they had already used 'Murray.' "Tom's from a different country and he learned Oxford English, very formal. Tom is Murray's father."

Teal'c looked puzzled for a brief second and then uttered. "He is." Chris looked more convinced now.

"So that's the reason for the tattoo on his head," he said referring to Teal'c in the picture. Hammond nodded. His story had worked, for now.

"Yep, Murray has one too. It's their religion or practice. A little known one I'm afraid."

"Where's he from?"

_Jeez, he's nosy!_ Jack thought to himself over by his kitchen. Daniel had joined them at the table by this time. So the whole team sat and listened.

"He's from some place deep in Africa… umm, Murray, where's your father from?"

Luckily, Teal'c had been given his cover story a few weeks before about where he came from.

"Djibouti, Africa. A little known place, but you are a formidable archeologist, are you not?"

"I'd like to believe so."

"Good."

Chris raised his eyebrows once and turned his attention back to Hammond. "Your son has some impressive friends."

Hammond nodded. "Yes he does." Jack certainly did have some… interesting friends. Chris felt proud of himself. He'd found a loophole.

"I didn't know Sunni Muslims liked to place gold marks on their heads."

They all went silent for a moment, before Teal'c, who had virtually no idea what he was talking about, spoke up.

"They do not Dr. Parson. My father's tribe was a little known tribe. It is not in any reference I have found. Only seven members remain to this day."

"Why is that Murray?"

"Because they were execrated and killed."

"Execrated huh?"

"Yes, my father has taught me the meaning of the word." Poor Teal'c felt that he was digging himself a hole, as Colonel O'Neill had put it once.

"Murray has a rather large vocab for someone so young."

"I noticed. Keep up the good work son!" he yelled to the children at the table. Teal'c bowed his head. His teammates snickered at their friend's voice onceagain. Chris felt discouraged to continue his prodding since his previous attempt failed.

"It look as if you should be proud of your-"

"OW!"

Hammond went to the table and found Daniel in pain. "What happened here?" SG-1 was almost in tears trying to keep themselves from laughing to hard. A bloody apple lay on the table and Daniel was still holding his mouth in pain. Hammond smirked.

Looking closely at the apple, Hammond found something white and red imbedded in it. Daniel looked up at the general.

"I lossst a toof!"


	19. Food Anybody?

sorry that took so long, but i hope i kept up the entertainment by providing the mini-stories... anyway, here it is chapter 19!

* * *

They all stopped and stared at Daniel, and 'they' included Chris. Jack felt another smile climb up his face and before he could stop it, the small colonel broke out laughing again. SG-1 looked at him then at Daniel. Unable to help themselves, Sam and Teal'c, yes Teal'c too, started cracking up.

Hammond bit his lib in an attempt to hold it in. Chris chuckled a bit, not finding what was so funny, but laughter is contagious. Hammond and SG-1 knew what was going on.

"Guyzz, thaz not funny!" Daniel protested angrily. Unfortunately, his new 'lisp' caused the small team to laugh even harder. Now Hammond and Chris had to deal with three hysterical little kids. Jack hiccupped and held his stomach from laughing. He couldn't stop, but the need for air slowed him down.

The others found the same problem and slowed down, tears in their eyes. Daniel pouted; he'd forgotten about this when he was nine. Now he was at the mercy of his fellows. _Stupid apple_, he cursed mentally, not trusting himself to speak. He just hoped his other front tooth didn't fall out too.

"Okay kids, that's enough," Hammond said after a good five minutes of laughing. He hoped, because 3 minutes of laughing equals to about 30 minutes of cardiac aerobics, that his heart was holding out fine. He didn't want a relapse. Frasier wouldn't like that… oh no, she would not like that. Chris just gaped curiously. What was with these kids? You'd think at their age, a loose tooth wasn't that funny.

Oh but what little **he** knew.

"Daniel, speak," Jack ordered. Daniel clamped his mouth shut and shook his head vigorously. Now there were two of them that refused to speak. Daniel rolled his eyes, feeling a little better now. Sam started humming something and Jack and Daniel knew the tune quite well.

"_All I want for Chrzizmaz ist my two front teef, my two front teef. Zo I can wizh you Merry Chrzizmaz._" Sam and Jack had pretty accurately faked the tooth thing. Daniel glowered at them as they smiled innocently.

Hammond chuckled again. "Time for lunch you guys, if you already haven't eaten your share…"

"Lunch!" Jack and Sam yelled.

Teal'c looked highly amused. "Some food would do." Daniel wasn't all that hungry or amused, but he meekly nodded.

"Chris? You're welcome to come along… not that there's anything else to do," Hammond offered. Chris shrugged.

"You're right, I'm hungry. Let's go!"

"Where to?" Sam wondered smartly.

"Mickey D's!" Jack shouted out.

"IHOP?" Sam offered.

"O'Malley'z…" Daniel coughed up smugly. They grinned at his lisp, but said nothing of it.

Chris looked thoughtful. "You know, I've lived here for ten years, and I've never gone there. Sad huh? I've heard its real good."

SG-1 looked at each other and chorused: "Yeah."

"Can we all fit into one car?"

"Not mine," Parson smiled.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"It's a pub?"

"Yeah, sorta."

"Do they let kids in?"

"I don't know actually."

"I'll go check it out George."

"Okay." Chris got out of the car and went into O'Malley's. Hammond turned around to face the team.

"You know sir, we where kicked out of the place," Sam pointed out.

"I know, think of this as… a freebie."

"Well yeah, they wouldn't recognize us as little kids would they?"

"Nope," Hammond said.

"Still, this should be fun."

"Colonel, what are you thinking?" Hammond said warningly. Jack smiled wryly.

"Oh nothing."

An hour later found them back into the Hammond's car, with Jack smiling, Sam amazed and amused, Daniel… well…, Teal'c stoic, Hammond amused but POed, and Chris off-balance.

"O'Neill!"

"What?" he answered innocently.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah riiiiight."

"So what if I tied all the pool players' shoelaces together?" Jack shrugged.


	20. Found Out

YAY! IT'S MY 20TH CHAPTER! YAY! (dances) sry for the wait... here ya go!

* * *

Sunday, it was Sunday! Thank God… The four little 'adult' terrors had run around all day yesterday, all wanting to show Teal'c this, show Teal'c that, and do stuff. They were bored! Not surprising either, they couldn't drive they couldn't go anywhere; they had to rely on Hammond and Chris. Sunday meant one more day until they could all hitchhike back to the base. 

"JACK!"

"Yup?" A head poked out from behind a chair. It was all tousled. Chris looked over into the living room and smiled at them. How cute.

"Good. You know, you guys are supposed to be watching me. Frasier said so."

"We know!" Sam called back. "We are, you just don't know it." The heads disappeared from sight and Hammond turned back to the table he was sharing with Chris. Daniel got up and went to get apple juice for them all. Chris watched him go by.

"You know George, Daniel didn't have a sibling." Hammond glanced at him, not betraying his emotions. "Well, none that I knew of at least." Daniel smiled nervously at Chris as he went back with three glasses.

"Here'z our apple juiz guyz!" They smirked yet again at the mispronunciation. Daniel popped his head over to see if the other adults were listening.

"Chzriz knowz zomething'z wrong. I think he might of guezzed."

"That would be bad," Jack said quietly.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Daniel, how are we supposed to keep him off our track?" Sam mused.

He shrugged. "I don't know unlezz they get the cube working again."

"In reverse," Jack checked.

"Right, in reverze."

"Soo…?" Sam prompted.

"Zo we let him think he knowz what he'z talking about. He'z figured out that I don't have any ziblingz."

"Your point Danny?"

"I can't have a nephew if I don't have a zibling Jack!" Jack looked thoughtful at this.

"Good point."

Daniel continued. "Zo if he guezzes, we hatfa ward him off. Zomehow." Chris made up his mind, he was gonna talk to Daniel's nephew, or was it Daniel himself?

"Danny? Can I talk with you about how your uncle's doing?"

"Uh oh," he muttered. Chris' question may have been innocent enough seeming, but he could easily have an underlying motive. Instead, Daniel yelled, "Yep!" happily to his buddy. Chris got up and led Daniel to the guest room again.

Once they had left, the remaining SGC members scrambled together, Daniel would never tell anyone about the SGC and what happened there to an outsider, would he?

"Danny, or should I call you Dr. Jackson?"

Daniel squirmed impatiently like any nine-year-old would. "You could, but that'z my uncle'z title."

"I don't believe it."

"Okayz, but he'z in Egypt you know." Daniel put on a good front; it killed to have to deceive his friend like this.

"Stop it Daniel, tell me the truth."

"What toof?" With his missing tooth, speech was complicated.

"Okay Danny, we're gonna play 20 questions," Chris started acting like the 'child' in front of him was actually a child.

"O-tay!"

"What's your uncle do?"

"He'z an egyptologizt!"

"How many laguages does he speak?"

"Lotz."

"What's his mother's maiden name?"

"I don't know. What'z a maiden name?"

"The name your grandmother had before she married your grandfather."

"Oh, I don't know. Uncle Daniel waz a foozter child."

"Foster, but close enough. Umm… what was his first foster father's name?"

"Uh… Bill? Or waz it zomeone named William?"

He dismissed the guesses because neither was right. Daniel had said the names of his later foster parents.

"Cat's name?"

"He'z 'llergic."

"Favorite color?"

"Blue, black."

"Favorite visiting place?"

"Egypt now."

"Foster mother's name?"

"Marie?"

"High school sweetie?"

"Denize."

"Ha." Chris looked triumphant as Daniel tried to figure out what he'd said. He went over the conversation believing he hadn't said anything that would give him away. _Place, Egypt… one foster mom, Marie… high school sweetie, Denise… Oh. Denise. _He had never told anyone about Denise, only Chris had known about her. Actually, he'd guessed after seeing Daniel fawn over her. It was something he wouldn't tell a soul.

"Shit," he mumbled.

"How did you get like this Daniel?"

"Long ztory." Chris grinned at the lisp now, realizing why it was funny, but did that mean his friends knew about this predicament too, or were they innocent?

"Do your friends know?"

"Nope. Completely unaware."

"Good."

"So what have you been doing all these years anyway?"

"Being a good egyptologizt… tologizt… anthopoloizt… guy!" Chris bit his lip, poor Daniel not being able to speak properly.

"_Pobre tú, Daniel. No hablas._" Daniel glared at him.

"Thankz for pointing out that fact."

"_No problema!_" Daniel scowled at him, back to the same old Chris he knew 20 years before. God save him. "Let's go out to your friends."

"Ok." The walked out and Chris retook his spot at the table and Daniel went to his team. They looked at him expectantly. Daniel's eyes spoke of failure.

"He got me."


	21. WHAT?

sorry for the long wait... gah! (writer's block... gotta hate it...) anyway this chapt is a tad shorter than the others, but have fun!

* * *

They four of them ducked behind the couch.

"WHAT?"

Daniel took a good look at Jack before he had an aneurism. "It's okay Jack, I didn't say anything about you guys. He doesn't know that or squat about the Stargate. All he knows is that I'm little, end of story."

They looked at him carefully. "Was that not wise DanielJackson?"

"Ye- wait, whadda mean?" Daniel asked realizing the way Teal'c had said the question, two different answers could come out of it.

"In a sense, as you might say, by giving Chris Parson this information, it may keep him from indulging himself further?" It was more of a statement than a question. Jack and Sam looked thoughtful at this revelation.

"He's right sir, by-"

"Ah! No 'sir' Carter, we're off duty **and** we're little. Continue."

"Okay then, but by giving Chris this information, he knows that you are the only little one from his lifetime. Not to mention he expects you to be big, as for us, he's never met us before, but the only way that he could have his "strange kid" scenario was to bring us into it."

"She's gotta point, now that your buddy Chris has filled his curiosity, he won't come sniffing around anymore," Jack concluded.

"Jaack, he's not that bad, just curious. Wouldn't you be if you're friend was little?"

"He is." Daniel glared at Jack.

"I meant if you were an unsuspecting civilian and knew nothing about the Stargate and you're best friend from twenty years ago tells you he's the same as he was when you knew him. Isn't that a little weird?"

"Yeah, I guess that'd be a bit… odd."

"Good," Daniel finished hoping they'd stop blaming him for letting info loose.

"So how did it happen?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"George, whadda you do? I mean aside from being in the military, what do you work with?"

"Deep space radar telemetry."

"Any interesting?"

"Incredible, do you know what sights we get?"

"I can imagine. Can you see Orion?"

"Oh yeah, that's one of my favorites. My son likes the Horsehead Nebula though."

"Yeah, that's a pretty one."

"Yeah." Hammond's eyes glazed over as he thought about the SGC. What fun!


	22. Food

I'm sooooo sorry that I have been SOOOO slow on my stories, I have vacation, so I'll try and update all of them! Bear with me, real life is getting in the way and its getting warmer out (which means parental unit wants me outside...)

now for the popular chapter 22... enjoy!

* * *

Monday! TGIM! 

Hammond smiled, that was probably the only time he'd ever thought that in his life. Finally, he got to take the foursome back to the base. Great timing too, Chris was starting to get suspicious of all this. The general looked in his rearview mirror, chuckled, and shook his head. The "kids" in the back were being 'rowdy.' They were playing games and what-have-you. They weren't loud, but they were talking in elevated voices. It seemed that the alien device that did this made their brains have a short attention span, like a child's. Then again, Frasier had said that they would be half children, half themselves.

Hopefully, the adult half would kick in once they reached the base…

"General? I'm hungry!" a small voice whined.

"Yeah, me too!"

"Me three sir!" The other two squeaky voices followed. Hearing this commotion all of a sudden made Hammond laugh. He'd been dealing with them for the weekend, but to hear his friends whine for food, well that was something different. He turned to Teal'c, who was sitting next to him.

"Are you hungry Teal'c?" The Jaffa nodded slowly.

"I would endeavor some sustenance."

"YAY!" the cries erupted back the back seat. It seemed Jack had finally fallen into the child play. Sternly, Hammond spun around to reprimand the kids.

"If I hear one more outburst…"

"You'll what general, send us offworld?" Jack answered sarcastically. The sarcasm let Hammond know that the adult Jack O'Neill still lived, but more importantly, it made him aware of whom he was talking too. The three of them sat like perfect angels, which also caused the general to laugh and continue driving.

"What do you guys want?"

"McDonalds?"

"Applebee's!"

"No, something quick major," Hammond reminded her. "We're almost at the base."

"Burger King!" Daniel shouted out.

"Ew, I don't like Burger King," Jack answered.

"Too bad." Jack, in return, stuck his tongue out at Daniel.

"I'll tell you what, I'll go get McDonald's for Jack and Sam, and get Burger King for Dr. Jackson and Teal'c. Sound good?"

"Yup!" three voices piped.

"Indeed," a fourth slightly deeper voice answered. The three human members of SG-1 smiled at Teal'c.

Hammond pulled up to Burger King and ordered what Daniel wanted. Carter turned to her comrades.

"You know how long it's been since I had a McDonalds' meal?"

"How long Sam?"

"Since…" she thought back as a slight pain seared across her head and the memory exploded into consciousness.

_"Yay for Daddy!" the little girl cried out. She waited patiently as her father handed her a white bag with the trademark arches of McDonalds on it. "Thank you Daddy!"_

_"No problem sweetie. Do you like it?" The little blonde girl nodded vigorously. She had some fries sticking out of her mouth. _

_"Yep!" Then her dad swooped in for a quick snatch of fries for himself. The girl smiled and pouted at the same time._

_"Daddy!" she said indignantly. "You can't be holdin' my fries hostage!"_

_"Gotta pay a ransom sweetie!"_

_"Well…" she gave him a hug. _

_"Aww… thanks, but the fries are still mine!" A beep from behind them startled the two and Jacob moved his car out of the way and into the parking lot. He turned and yelled at the window._

_"Sorry!" The person in the other car yelled back._

_"No problem!"_

"Since I was like eight or so." She smiled at the fond memory. "My dad took a couple of my fries hostage and backed up the cars behind us, we got beeped at."

The other two smiled wryly.

"Here you go Dr. Jackson."

"Thank you!" he said gleefully as Hammond passed back his burger and fries. "Yum…" Daniel sank away into bliss. And Jack stole some Coke.


	23. Gah Marines

again... sorry for the humongous wait... the ideas just dont seem to flow anymore... hmmm... MUSE! anyway, enjoy!

* * *

"Hello general!" the guard saluted. Hammond saluted back and the Marine peered inside the car. "I'm sorry sir, but you can't take them inside. You know that." 

"Sergeant, are you telling me what I can and can't do within my base?" The sergeant got all straight and silent.

"No sir!" he barked.

"Good." As Hammond drove in, the "kids" in the back smiled at each other. They made a note to tease the man about this later – when they got bigger again.

Were they going to be stared or what! As the car passed through all the necessary gates and security, all the little adults got thoroughly investigated, sight wise. Yet no one was dumb enough to question the general…. not like that other guy.

Frasier MUST be psychic or something… because she was waiting right out front for them all to step out and into her office, wherever that may be. The little ones saluted all the confused marines and airmen just for fun. At risk of disappointing the kids, or if they had any relation to the general, they saluted back kindly.

"How do you feel colonel, major? Teal'c? Daniel?" Frasier asked them in the elevator. "More importantly, how do **you** feel sir?"

"I'm fine." There it was the conditioned response. One of these days she was going to…

"I'm good doc."

"Me too."

"Me free."

"I am well Doctor Frasier."

The good doc sighed heavily and looked down at the four below her. Jack started straight up and glared nastily at her. Same old Colonel O'Neill apparently. His more serious half had returned, well at least he knew to be serious and adult like. For now.

Calmly, Jack reached up towards Daniel's face. The "younger" man didn't flinch knowing that Jack often did this. Jack pushed up Daniel's glasses, pulled a fry out of his hair, eat it and smiled. Daniel reached up in surprise, expecting to find more fries. When he didn't, he looked rather disappointed.

"Colonel? Daniel?" Frasier asked in surprise. Hammond chuckled and offered up an answer.

"Doctor, they had McDonald's and Burger King earlier. As to how the fry got into Dr. Jackson's hair…" He looked at Frasier's face storming over. She had something against fast food. Sam, Daniel, and Jack starting going "Oooooooh!" to Teal'c's surprise and the elders dislike.

"Come on people, we are military officers, now act like some."

Daniel didn't feel it quite so necessary to point out the obvious, but Jack did.

"Daniel and Teal'c aren't military sir." Hammond sighed as they walked out of the elevator.

"How did you deal with them sir?" Frasier asked as they stepped out. He rolled his eyes.

"Lots and lots of practice."

"And patience too!" piped Carter as she ran off.

"And patience too." Frasier laughed.

* * *

sorry, that was short... someone give me a couple of plot lines... i'm running outta ideas! HEEEELP! 


	24. A Mission? You're Crazy!

this is for Gremblin and SilverRider! Davis gets a short bit (maybe longer later) like i promised! keep up the ideas... i plan to incorporate many of them!

and THANK YOU FOR AAAAAALLLL THE REVIEWS!

* * *

They all met in General Hammond's office moments later. The team looked solemn and reserved as they waltzed in, they performed as they would as adults. Hammond had walked in first and, to his great surprise, found Major Davis waiting there with some urgent… thing from the Pentagon. 

"Good morning general…" he stopped and looked at the child-sized team. "Umm… sir?"

"Hi Davis, how ya doing?" Jack remarked sarcastically as he plopped himself into a seat. "I ain't doing so great!" he grunted, talking to himself kind of.

"Hello, who are you?" Davis asked warily. "And what are you doing here?" The general sat down in his chair and smiled, not bothering to help.

"Heeeellooo Davis… this is Colonel O'Neill speaking, please pick up!" he answered, horribly sarcastic.

Davis gave them all a very strange look. "Right and I'm supposed to-"

**Whiiiir! Whiiiir!**

"Not again," Sam, Daniel, and Jack moaned as they ran out of Hammond's office and to the Control Room. Hammond held them back.

"Stay here. If someone's coming in hot, they may not see you… and besides, you can't see over the Control Room windows." He smiled.

"Jee, thanks general," Daniel answered.

"No problem Dr. Jackson." With that, he shut the door on them. Jack sat down again.

"Now we wait."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"It's the Tok'ra IDC sir."

"Oh no…" he whispered to himself. "Open the iris." The sergeant followed his orders and two Tok'ra came through. Hammond strolled down to the Gate Room and greeted the Tok'ra, but he also looked around for any signs of Jacob.

"He is not coming this time general," the unknown explained. "Jacob Carter or Selmak, I mean."

Hammond looked at the female Tok'ra standing before him and groaned. "Anise… or is it Freya?"

"Greetings General Hammond," Anise said calmly. "Where is SG-1?"

"Why?"

"We have a mission for them."

"And by 'we' you mean…?"

"The Tok'ra High Council, Micor and I."

"Well, SG-1 isn't available right now, I'm sorry Anise," the general apologized.

"Are they on some other mission?"

"Not really…"

"We NEED them."

"Why?"

"Because they are the only ones to do this job properly," Micor spoke up for the second time since arriving.

"Okay…" he sighed resignedly. "Jake is not going to like this…"

"Excuse me general?" Anise asked politely. He turned to her and tried not to notice her existence.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." She cocked her head and kept walking towards the general's office.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Great, I wonder what's happening out there…" Daniel paced. Suddenly he heard the heavy footsteps of the CO. "Hammond's back!" Everyone scattered and stood up.

The door opened. "Sir, what… oh. It's you again," Jack said scornfully.

"Ugh," Sam groaned as did Daniel. Teal'c looked extremely unhappy at the site of the young Tok'ra.

"Are these little Tau'ri?" Anise asked in her ultimate curiosity. She kneeled down to get a closer look at Jack and he swatted her away.

"Get away from me Anise… or is it Freya?" She looked genuinely startled.

"How… how?"

Hammond completely ignored the babbling Anise and turned to Micor. "Micor, this is SG-1. May I present Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Sam Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c."

Each nodded in turn and Micor knelt to get a better view of them and held out a hand. "I have heard much about you, especially Major Carter."

"My father has a big mouth…"

Micor smiled warmly. "About… a lot of love for his daughter?"

Sam now smiled back in that cute kid way. "That's a better way of saying he talks a lot, but thanks Micor?"

"Yes." Sam frowned slightly.

"What's your symbiote's name?"

"I have none." AH! Jack could like him a whole lot more now!

"Sweet! A good snake without a snake! That's different…" Jack responded in his normal flippant way.

"As I was saying?" Anise… well Freya tried to gain control again. Micor stood and took his place next to Freya/Anise and didn't look all to happy about it either.

"Please enlighten us," Daniel stated.

"There is a mission for you… that we believe could be undertaken in your current size."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"GODS! Why does she talk us into this stuff?" Jack complained as they walked into the gate room. They were wearing tiny SGC uniforms manufactured for the team over the weekend. Now they all felt more comfortable. Still, everything was huge.

"Who knows sir… it must be your charming self," Sam countered.

"It must!" Daniel exclaimed quietly. Jack and Teal'c smiled as they readied themselves for the gate travel. They weren't carrying P-90s, but rather their handguns.

"Move out kids!" Daniel turned to see a bunch of cameras peering down, snapping off pics one by one.

"Look good," he muttered to his teammates. They straightened and walked through like the old hands they were.


	25. Umm, Where Are You?

hehe... all these chapters are making up for lost time! LOL! ummm... okay, _this_ is Jacob and '_this'_ is Selmak... that just spoiled that... this is for... (reads notes) Gremblin again... i seem to be using your ideas lately... more ppl's ideas to come soon! i swear!

* * *

They emerged on the other side to find… well… not much. Jack scanned around and saw trees, god forbid, and grassland. That was all. Oh yeah, and the desert over there behind the forests. The whole team looked a little confused and lost. 

"Well…"

"Yeah."

"Where is everyone?" Teal'c inquired, forgetting his voice. Of course, the team smiled then immediately became serious again. They peered around and saw no one. Not even Anise and Micor.

"Oy."

"No kidding sir," Sam grumbled. Jack smiled again. After several minutes of looking, they sat by the gate. Daniel was the first to plop down.

"Hmph!"

"Danny? What's up?" Jack asked concerned. Daniel grunted and the look on his face suggested he was upset or thinking with a deep scowl. Sam came to sit next to him as the other men continued the hopeless search.

"Daniel?"

"This isn't fair!" he cried out.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked surprised at the answer. She wouldn't expect that sort of answer from an adult Daniel unless he was **really** pissed off.

"These damn Tok'ra… they lead us out here then strand us! That's not FAIR!" he whined. Daniel pouted as he whined. Sam sat next to him with a plop.

"I know." Sam had the look of a spanked child. "This sucks big time."

"Major said a bad word!" Jack called.

"Shut up!" she answered angrily. She didn't like these evil, mean Tok'ra right now and didn't feel like being picked on.

"I want my DAD!" she whined loudly. "Damn it and I want him now!" Daniel grimaced nastily.

"Jack, the stupid Tok'ra left us to freaking die…"

"Wouldn't be the first time…"

"True. But Sam wants her daddy!" Carter stood up and she began to jump up and down angrily.

"I. Want. My. DAD!" Sam was on the verge of tears as she pouted and jumped. Teal'c came and held her as the other two went to her side.

"I know Sam… I know," Jack reassured. Suddenly a ring popped out of nowhere. On reaction, the four whipped out their guns and took cover. Seeing it was only Micor, Anise, and Jake all looking in the wrong direction, SG-1 came up behind them.

"Where are they?" Jacob Carter asked with concern and maybe a tad bit of impatience. Anise took a glance at her feet and noticed the "younglings," but she didn't mention anything. Jacob looked around at adult head-level. As he grumbled he heard a ghostling of "Go… go!" Then, something tugged on his pant leg. He looked down quickly, remembering the days of old.

He must have still been daydreaming, for there was his Sam at the age of ten, standing there tugging his leg.

"Daddy!" she called. Something wasn't right, she was wearing SGC clothes!

"Sam?" She hid her hands behind her back and rocked slowly.

"Hi daddy!" He saw the other little squirts around him.

"Jack? Daniel? Teal'c?" They nodded as Micor smiled. Jake knelt down and gave his Sam a giant hug. "OH! I missed you honey!"

The other humans smiled smugly. "She did too Jake. She was just having a temper tantrum." Jacob stared at his daughter's CO incredulously and looked back at his daughter. He started to chuckle.

"How did this happen?"

"Well… it has to do with a box…" Jack started to explain, but Jacob stopped him.

"Jack, this isn't a Tok'ra base. This is where your mission was supposed to be."

"And by 'supposed to mean,' I assume you mean…?"

"Go back."

"Of course. All right kids, let's go!" Jack called out. "Daniel dial it up." The colonel heard some groaning and stretching.

"Can't reach."

"Of course not, looks like we're staying." Sam was still attached to her father. She wasn't going anywhere. Jake looked at Sam then back at SG-1 and quickly Selmak decided, they stayed.

_Why?_

_'Because only **they** can do this and you know it!'_

_But… look at them Sel! They're tiny._

_'But not helpless.' _Jacob actually entertained the idea.

_True, but they can't-_

_'They can and they will.'_

_I hate you Selmak._

_'I know!'_ she said with smugness of her own.

"Come on guys. Let's go debrief," Jacob sighed as Sam giggled. She got to stay with daddy! How much better could it get?


	26. Kids Anyone?

yeah, hi... dont kill me please... i've had finals and no ideas...anyway excuse my grammar and spelling mistakes... and enjoy!

* * *

"So much for the adult façade, right?" Daniel murmured to Jack. He grinned a little at the words. The mini team bumbled through the maze of Tok'ra rushing around them. It may have not been a Tok'ra base, but it was certainly busy enough to warrant suspicion.

"You'd think that this was a base of ours, but its not," Jacob explained while bouncing Sam on his shoulder. "This is actually a Goa'uld's attempt to replicate the Tok'ra's halls." Jack looked impressed and Teal'c, surprised. O'Neill reached out to the wall and felt it.

"Did a pretty damn good job of it too." Jacob nodded and the symbiote took over.

"They did, but they also missed some essentials. That led to the capture of this Goa'uld. The tunnels are not protected by a shield or a radar barrier of any sort, unlike the Tok'ra," Selmak explained. Jacob took over again.

"You guys probably want to know who the Gould is, right?"

"That would be helpful…" Daniel suggested.

"His name is, well, actually **her** name is Ammut."

"And that means what exactly?" Jack piped out. Daniel looked thoughtful.

"The devouress of the dead. She's the demonic goddess who attends the Judging of the Dead. She was depicted as having the head of a crocodile, the torso of a lioness and the hindquarters of a hippopotamus. She waited in the Judgment Hall of the Two Truths during the weighing of the heart ceremony, and devoured those who were sinners in life." Sam looked interested actually and kind of overwhelmed at the same time.

"Sounds nasty dad," little Carter commented. He nodded at that. Yes it did, but if Selmak said they could pull it off… they could probably pull it off.

"She is currently serving under Anubis."

Teal'c just delivered the clincher…

"Oh."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They were all taken to a large room, perhaps a conference room of some sort. Once there, the Tok'ra went off to the side and started battling it out, well at least the symbiotes did.

"Do you not think that in their current size that they could not complete the mission?" suggested Micor idly. The two full Tok'ra looked at him oddly. Anise/Freya launched into a verbal assault.

"They must complete this mission! The Tok'ra and our secrecy depend upon it!"

"They should not have to if they don't want to, but it's obvious they **want** to stay. I think that even in their current state, SG-1 could undertake the mission and successfully complete it," Selmak imput. "Besides, who's going to seriously take three Tau'ri children and one Jaffa child?"

Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c turned away from the little "secret" Tok'ra discussion. They looked at each other and Jack rolled his eyes at the three 'adults.'

"I wonder if they're talking about us?" Jack said sarcastically as they all heard "SG-1 can" from Anise.

"I wonder Jack…" Daniel looked at his friend with the same sarcastic look in his eyes.

"You've been hanging around me too long!" the colonel warned.

"No kidding…" Sam muttered.

"Indeed."

"HEY!" the two other boys yelled. The Tok'ra turned to see the problem. Jacob shrugged it off.

"Human children often fight," he explained like it was the most natural thing in the world. Micor smiled at the lively antics. Anise did not look amused.

"This is unseemly!" Jacob again smiled at her distress, but Selmak answered this time.

"Then you've never had kids."


	27. Cyberworld of Ammut

no more for about a month... i'll be going away to camp... and unless i find a computer in the middle of PA for about 2 hours... i doubt i'll be able to put up chapters... i'll have some done when i get back tho! so... i'll miss you all and have a good summer!**  
**

**kasluvsg1** – nah, no season… well, seasons 1-5, or 7 pick one! Lol

* * *

Anise, the "peace keeper" looked shocked at the brawl Jack and Daniel had kicked up. Sam and Teal'c listened with amusement. After all, the guys were yelling at them. Sam had leaned back onto one of the crystal formations with her elbows and had crossed her feet. Teal'c was leaning on one elbow with his head in a hand. He looked rather content watching the two. Not that this was anything out of the ordinary – Jack and Daniel yelling at them. The other two sane members of SG-1 looked very smug as Jacob walked over to them. 

"Hey dad, must be those little boy hormones," Sam said before he could stop her. The two stopped arguing instantly and whipped around to face her.

"WHAT!" they said together. Carter had known that the second she implied they were little boys the fighting would stop and they would, hopefully, act their rightful age.

"I'm not a little boy!" Jack scoffed.

"Me neither!" Daniel followed. Jacob smiled at his clever daughter. No force and no muss. Micor laughed outright and the two Carters joined. Anise, once again, tried to get down to business.

"As you all well know, Ammut is serving under Anubis and she is quite high in his ranks. She possesses many of the super soldiers and has them ready at her dispense."

"What else is new?" came the little pertinent voice of Jack O'Neill. Anise looked down at him with a nasty glare. Jack met her gaze calmly, with all the training of an Air Force officer. "We do this all the time! Just let us go… PLEASE!" His voice had taken on a pleading quality and Jake remembered what it was like to have little children all over again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"We're off to see the wizard!"

"Shut up Jack."

"I'm so sorry I have Wizard of Oz stuck in my head." The team prepared to disembark for the second time that day. Hopefully, no breakdowns would come with the trip this time. Sam stood next to her dad as he dialed the gate for them. He worried terribly about his little girl going offworld. It wasn't like before… before she was big!

'_It's not that different Jacob Carter! And you know it!'_

_But it is! Look at her… innocent and young again._

_'And she'd hate you if you told her that.'_

_Probably, but I can't think what might happen… it's like the first day of school or camp. _

_'Nervous worried parents?'_

_Yeah._

_'Typical Tau'ri…'_

Jake laughed internally. _Thanks Sel._ Strands of Wizard of Oz reached his ears and he smiled. That was Jack. Sam tugged at his shirt again and he looked down. The gate had activated and her team was waiting. Jack looked fondly at his offspring and gave her a **big** hug and let her go.

As the gate shut down, he realized… that was **his** little girl! And boy was he proud of her!

Nano-SG-1 reached the planet designated as Maku, or in Jack's words Hell 2. It was pretty vague… it wasn't like Nato in the least, but it had its creepy qualities. For one, they had landed in a giant cavern/room with tons of glyphs on the walls depicting, quite vividly, what happened to sinners. They were big and forewarning. Very colorful too… they wondered if it could be reproduced with crayons. Wait… that wasn't their goal. SG-1 had to stay focused!

Jack and Sam took point as Daniel and Teal'c covered the rear. The stomp stomp of Jaffa boots could be heard throughout the cave area. Daniel whimpered, sat down and cried his brains out. His teammates tried to get him to stop it, but too late. They'd been found.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Daniel's eyes were bloodshot red from all the bawling he had just done. His throat was kind of raw too come to think of it. Jack sat next to him rubbing Daniel's back soothingly. Sam had the look of pity in her eyes. Teal'c couldn't have cared less it seemed. Daniel sniffled and the team smiled briefly. Poor guy…

They were hauled before Ammut and thrown on their knees. It was pure luck they weren't executed immediately.

The first prime had had "better plans for" them. See, when the Jaffa first found the group and Daniel, they had been ready to kill them all. Teal'c started slanding about their god. That pushed the Jaffa over the edge. The first prime said that, because they were so young, they could be forgiven and retrained in the ways of Ammut and her lord Anubis.

Now they sat in front of Ammut – the devourer of the dead. Jack tried diplomacy, as always.

"Hi!" Ammut raised a thin eyebrow Teal'c style. "How ya doing? I'm Jack!" O'Neill tried to sound excited even through the rough treatment. The goddess stood up and walked to them. She was gorgeous, in the feminine way. If they were adult, she would have had her Jaffa hit them, but they were spared.

"Tau'ri child, what do you know of me?" threatened the feminine Goa'uld voice. Daniel piped up.

"Well, we know that… umm, you serve Anubis…"

"Is that all?" She sounded amused! "You wear the jackets of the Tau'ri explorers. Why?" The all-knowing… they're something…

Jack looked down at his jacket and so did Sam. She answered before O'Neill did. "Yeah, we used to know them, until they were killed." She started to tear up as she told the gould of their deaths. The others also began to look very sad or stricken with pain.

"Don't cry children of the Tau'ri, I will take care of you."

"Really?" squeaked Daniel.

"Yes." Ammut made a hand motion and her Jaffa took them away to huge chambers. Probably one of the biggest on the ship. Ammut, herself, walked in a few minutes later and showed them where they could find information on her – the ship's computer. She left.

"Sweeeeet!" cried Jack as Sam hacked into Gould cyberworld.


	28. Remember Me

"I'm into the main computer core," said a voice that was all business. Jack loved that girl, she was so efficient. Daniel checked around for any signs of Goa'uld or Jaffa, Teal'c did the same. Whoever thought it was a good idea to make Ammut a Goa'uld was a good idea was not her security advisor. The console didn't have an inkling of firewalls or protection of any kind. It was too easy. Then again, she thought they were kids.

Daniel, rather bored, looked around at the glyphs on the walls and started to translate them. Teal'c noted his interest and looked up. Jack stood around just plain old bored.

"Too bad I didn't bring my Game Boy," Jack thought. Daniel and Sam both "mmm"ed their agreement.

"What is this Game Boy?"

"It'z a little box-like toy and you can play gamez in it. It'z like a mini computer. Zam, you have a Game Boy?" Daniel asked. She simply smiled.

"Now now now Carter… what games do you have?" Sam gave another devious smile and went back to work. Jack came to her side.

"Carter, what **are **you looking for?"

"Anything that will help with our mission, which is to ultimately destroy Ammut and get to Anubis," she explained.

"Devourer of the dead, lizten to her and you zhall be zaved. Well…"

"If that's not over the top…" commented Jack.

"Indeed."

"There we go, we have the schematics of the ship… if you just gave me a little bit more…" And the door opened. "Ah and out we go!" Carter triumphed. "I did it!"

"Again…" Jack grumbled as he followed the blondie out the door. He was still taller than her at least! They stopped right outside the doors. Down the hallway were two Jaffa guards. Yikes…

"Major Carter, it would be best to find a ring transport," the friendly child Jaffa advised. No time for smiling this time. Sam briefly looked over the console and pointed out a direction.

Sneaking down Goa'uld halls was the specialty of SG-1; it's what they did best. Among other things. Down the aisles they went, sneaking along, around the guards. Aha! Low and behold, they'd found the ring transports… and Ammut.

She spun around and the kids were frozen.

"Hello my… lady," Daniel sucked up. He bowed slowly. The others followed with some eye rolls.

"My darlings…" she crooned. Jack winced. "I have plans for you… and for Anubis." She chuckled a little and added "Come with me Tau'ri." She spread her arms and walked the team out of the ring room. So much for escape.

They walked into a room with many carvings and pots. Daniel started to translate in his head. "Oh dear."

"What?" Jack mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

"Thiz iz a planting room."

"A what?"

"Gouldz! They make hoztz here." Over hearing this, Ammut looked down at SG-1, smiling.

"That's right my dears. Here you will feel the power of a god… or goddess," she politely added to appeal to Sam. Carter smiled briefly. "You will be able to rule the galaxy along side me. Come."

Unwillingly, the team followed her. Every step implied doom. Ammut had taken up chuckling again. It was creepy to hear a Goa'uld chuckle. Her red robes ushered the kids forward.

"Oh boy…" The team looked around. Oh boy was right… the room was **filled **with larval symbiotes. Luckily, that's not how goulds were made, only jaffa. Unfortunately, one of Ammut's jaffa had come with her. They all stopped at an elaborate table in a secluded room.

"This jaffa has a child ready… a child for someone so young." She stepped up to Daniel and stroked his face. The linguist tried to look pleased at the prospect when instead he was rather appalled and scared. Ammut pulled out the adult gould and held it. "This first honor goes to you darling."

Daniel gulped.

Figures.


	29. Implantation

ok... u guys got to understand this... from this chapter to chapter 31, i wrote between 1:00 - 4:30 am this morning... so they may be a little odd.. so uh, don't mind me... i think its okay, but i dont know... do tell!

* * *

He bravely stepped up to the table side and hopped on. Daniel sent a look of fear through his eyes and to Jack, Teal'c, Sam, and Ammut. She noticed. 

"My poor child, do not be afraid. It is a gift to give and receive it proudly!" Daniel nodded and gulped. The three others were too mortified and scared to do anything. Had they been full adults, one: they wouldn't have been alive, but two: one of them would have tried to take Daniel's place. The children in them were scared shitless.

Daniel lay down on the table and turned over unto his stomach. One last look went to his friends and the Goa'uld was lowered. Ammut stopped and told her jaffa to get the remaining kids out of the room.

"Daniel!" Sam muttered in protest and fright. A brief smile lit his face.

"Sam…" He nodded to them all and lay still again. A curtain was drawn so that Jack, Sam, and Teal'c couldn't see Daniel. So help him…

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Daniel's screams rang out and Sam looked away. The room suddenly quieted. Their old friend was now a Goa'uld. Ammut stepped out looking proud with Daniel at her side. Daniel looked rather regal too. They all hoped that maybe she'd missed… or Ammut had stopped the process of implantation.

All hopes disappeared when Daniel's eyes glowed a brilliant yellow. Not only that, but the creepy Goa'uld voice kicked in too.

"Puny little Tau'ri… kree!"

SG-1 rolled their eyes and froze. They'd all just realized that Daniel could give them away as SG-1. How come he hadn't yet? A question to ponder when Daniel wasn't a freaking gould. At any rate, Ammut shuttled them all back to their quarters.

So, once again, Jack, Sam, Teal'c, and Daniel were together, except Daniel wasn't Daniel. The three of them stayed in one corner of the room while Daniel sulked in the other. Jack even made cat-calls at him.

"Hey, so why aren't you boasting your Goa'uld ass off? Eh? You got one of us! Aren't you pleased?" It didn't work. "Daniel" just sat there.

"What an odd Goa'uld," Sam noticed. Jack and Teal'c nodded.

"Indeed. He has not boasted his accomplishments yet. Very strange indeed."

"Well, he's a gould with a missing tooth." At this the two humans snickered and a touch of a smile lit Teal'c's face. Several times, the gould made to go talk, but then didn't. Jack wondered what it would say. It was quite strange to have a non-talkative Goa'uld. It was against their MO.

The gould merely moved around, shuffled to get comfortable and settled again. None of them moved towards it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ammut came back midday. At least that's what it said on Jack's watch. She came with provisions for them all. Daniel seemed to get the most attention. The colonel was all heated up about Ammut implanting Daniel and was going to say something, but Sam made him keep his mouth shut. So he fumed instead.

"How are you my darlings?"

"Fine."

"Peachy."

"Content."

And a nod.

This gould really was non-talkative! That's something to report home about. Hey, the Daniel-Go'auld never said a word! For about an hour they sat in silence with Daniel secluded.

Sam tried cajoling it this time. "Hey you. You have control over all of Daniel's memories and feelings, how come you haven't told **her** about us?" The gould merely looked up at her with an expression of intense sadness. Carter was thrown off course at the expression. Was that Daniel or the gould? Hard to tell.

With a sudden and violent **_click_** all the power in the ship died. Ship wide power outage, interesting. The three huddled together unknowingly. A slow raspy voice spoke from the depths of the room.

"And what if I was to tell you that I'm not a Goa'uld."


	30. Kooky Krisp

next chapter of insanity and tiredness...

* * *

The lights and locks flickered on again. Everything was running smoothly. What a glitch! The three looked over at Daniel's sleepy, weary, and sad face. Jack cocked his head. 

"What did you say?" The goa'uld, or whatever it was, wouldn't speak anymore. "Fine, don't tell me." Daniel's head tilted up and nodded at a small bump in the ceiling. A nub of sorts barely seeable. In it was a little black dot. Goa'uld surveillance, oh.

Very carefully, Sam tapped out Morse Code on the floor. Luckily, they had just recently taught Daniel and Teal'c Morse in case they got trapped in a situation were voices couldn't be used. This was one of those times. Daniel was a little rusty, but he had picked it up well enough, so Sam tapped slowly and carefully.

_What did you say before?_

_I'm not a gould._ He'd used the slur… it was easier to type.

_Then what are you?_

_Tok'ra._

Here Jack interjected anxiously. _Uh huh… since when do Tok'ra have jaffa to carry their symbiotes?_

_Repeat Jack._

_Don't call me that! I said… since when do Tok'ra have jaffa to carry their symbiotes?_

_Never._

_Huh?_

_They put me in the jaffa hoping that one of you would get me, _the symbiote explained carefully. Teal'c, Sam and Jack exchanged looks. Sam came back in tapping.

_It doesn't mean we trust you._

_I know…_ Daniel's eyes had rolled.

_But we might consider actually acknowledging you. _That was Jack, of course. _If you are Tok'ra let Daniel speak._ Daniel's head drooped and came back up again. He waved, Jack waved back.

"Daniel?"

"Hi guys."

"How's life?"

"Not good… my throat hurts," Daniel whispered.

As equally quiet, Sam asked, "Can we trust you?"

"Yeah, it's a Tok'ra… or something like it."

"What! Something like it?" That was Jack… again. Teal'c turned to his comrades.

"O'Neill, Major Carter, understand that this might be a lie." Jack and Sam nodded to acknowledge him.

"We know Teal'c," Jack said. "Thanks."

_Who are you anyway?_ Jack tapped out. Daniel looked around some before answering.

_I am Djari, sister of Selmak._

WHAT!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Oh wow…" Sam was still trying to wrap her brain around the "sister of Selmak" thing. How could she have known who was her sister? At any rate, she was much younger than Selmak was. Not only that, but Djari was in a man's body. Interesting. Sam wondered how it was taking the child half of Daniel's brain. After all, everything was a little scrambled in there.

"Carter! A-mutt is here again…" Sam smiled briefly and bowed. Daniel/Djari stood straight and looked Ammut in the eye.

"My lady," he implored. "These Tau'ri children wish to see our lord Anubis. Shall we grant their wishes?"

She looked thoughtful then nodded slowly. "Yes, they shall see our lord Anubis. Perhaps it will give their lives meaning. Come."

The three un-snaked bodies followed her footsteps back down to the rings. "You are in luck, our lord Anubis has decided to check up here this week. You may see him." She hit the buttons on the pad and up they went. SG-1 had concealed their weapons in their jackets and the jackets had gone with them to see Anubis.

On Anubis' ship, three guards escorted four little kids to see their lord. Three big jaffa to four little kids… get that! Anyway, they all made their way down the hall and into this huge antechamber. Very ornate too.

"You may leave," Djari said in a very important Goa'uld voice. The jaffa bowed and left. "Well, that was fun," Daniel mentioned.

"Okay, that was weird, stop that," Jack also mentioned. Daniel and Jack threw each other dirty looks. Sam stepped in saying that there was a time and place for fights, but not now!

"I so own you gould!"

"Tau'ri scum!"

The two laughed at their own antics. Kids… what kooks.


	31. Revelation

it just so happens... that this isnt the last of the last night/early morning written chapters... yeah, i stay up and write... lol, so excuse if its redudant or OOC... my brain has a tendency to wander off... hey look at that!

* * *

That's when the big bad Anubis came gliding in. An entrance to be sure, but it didn't impress nano-SG-1. They'd seen the over-the-top gould stuff before. All of it. Flanked by his First Prime, Anubis sat in the throne awaiting him. He looked down at the children and laughed. Yes, Anubis actually laughed.

"Puny Tau'ri children, what do you hope to accomplish here?" His First Prime chuckled a little too at the children groveling at his lord's feet. Pitiful excuses for lifeforms. The First Prime stood as tall as he possibly could. Jack and Daniel noticed this. Jack rolled his eyes and Daniel followed. Carter, seeing the men, no… boys were antsy, jabbed them with her elbows.

Daniel stood up and delivered his sermon, well Djari did. "My lord, we have come to seek protection in your service."

"Can these groveling children face me?" Heh, no problem. SG-1 and looked into the mask of Anubis with no fear. "I feel you do not fear me. Is it ignorance or bravery?" O'Neill had mastered the child for now and his adult self took over.

"Maybe a little of both?" he suggested. Djari looked ashamed all of a sudden. Daniel's face rapidly turned to a face of fear for his friend. Anubis was silent.

"Some fire in this one." He opened up his ribbon device and blasted Jack across the room and pinned him against the wall.

"Ow," Jack whispered. Anubis dropped his hand, allowing the colonel to fall to the floor. "That hurt."

Sam ran over to Jack as did Teal'c. "Sir, are you okay?"

"Yeah major… just… peachy," Jack said as he strained to get up. Daniel stood impassively next to Anubis.

"My lord, these ones are to be used as hosts like this host was."

"By whom?"

"One of your minor goddesses, Ammut."

"Ah, Ammut feels they need a trial."

"Yes my lord."

"Tau'ri, kree!" They came scampering back almost immediately. "My lord, we must go, but…" The four of them whipped out their weapons so fast, Anubis didn't have a chance of getting his shield up before they got shots off. They rolled out flash-bangs and smoke bombs and got out of there. The jaffa blindly shot into the din. Teal'c smiled at their stupidity.

The four children ran to the rings at full tilt. The jaffa guarding the rings was apprehensive. Why had they been running?

"We are charges of Ammut. We are being pursued by rebel forces!" The jaffa hit the panel and ringed them away. He waited for those "rebel forces" to appear.

Well, they never did.

SG-1 made it safely back onto Ammut's ship though. They had never felt safe on a Goa'uld mothership until now. Ammut herself came running towards them and walked them all to their quarters. When the door shut, Daniel handed over his weapon to Jack and sat with them on the wall.

"Jack, I should tell you something," Daniel began. "Ammut was the devourer of the dead. Which means she stood for good in a sense. One chance and if you weren't good and blew it, well, you were fed to Ammut. If mythology is correct, as it has been, then she'll only be nice until we do something wrong against her."

"And then?"

"And then? There would be no 'and then' Sam. We'd be toast!"

"Oh," Sam muttered unhappy.

"The attack went well O'Neill, congratulations."

"Many thanks T." There was a long pause. "So Daniel, now that you got a snake in your head, what does it feel like?"

"Weird. I don't want her, but she's good," he stumbled to explain. "Um, let Djari tell you about her life and I'll just listen in the background, okay?"


	32. Story Time

I was gone for a week and a half... i honestly meant to put up this chapter... but vacation got in the way... _growls_ heh heh...

* * *

"I-" Sam stopped her at the first word and eyed the camera hole in the ceiling. Jack nodded.

"Carter, go do what you do best." She nodded back and went to the computer. The micro-Carter typed in a couple keys and looked pleased.

"Almost there sir. There's… games in here…"

"Carter!" Jack said warningly. "Don't get sidetracked." Sam shook her head slightly to get back in "the groove."

"Right." After about five minutes, she smiled. "Got it. Go ahead Djari." She and Daniel had been waiting patiently against the wall nearby Teal'c with his arms crossed. The "Tok'ra" started to speak once again.

"Thank Major Carter. I was born on a planet far, far away," Daniel grinned, "it's on the far edges of this galaxy. It's located on the fringes of Goa'uld territory." She paused. "It is in your database of Stargate addresses, the one that was found on Abydos." Daniel's face looked down and away. "Excuse me… Daniel's feelings affect me too." The team nodded in acknowledgement. This was like story-time! And they were loving it.

Jack and Sam sat at Daniel's feet looking up. Teal'c stood; apparently they never had story-time. Daniel sat higher up on one of the benches. "Go on!" Jack urged curiously. Djari smiled. She knew what was up.

"My planet Sinion, and Selmak's planet is a large breeding for Goa'uld and, at one point, the Tok'ra queen. This is where I was born. Yes, I still remember."

"So, is your home planet where you first got a host or where you were born?" Sam interjected curiously.

"Where I was born. Many symbiotes do not remember, but I am special." Oy, so there was gould in them… the boasting. "To a small batch of children the Tok'ra queen spawned, we were given extra DNA and memory of the cruel things our brethren had done. Not only that, but I have the capability to do this." Djari held out her host's hand and a ball of flame appeared. With a quick flick, it disappeared. The act had startled mini-SG-1, but they were amused by it.

"How did you do that?" Sam asked, ever inquisitive.

"I am able to pull the heat from this room and compact it into a small bundle. Then it combusts from the pressure and friction." She smiled again.

"It's the kind of thing that Daniel loves to try and do," Jack muttered to Teal'c and Sam.

"Indeed it is."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After discussing how Djari was able to pull off all the nifty "tricks," the four settled in for dinner. Daniel was back in control now.

"Did I **really** make fire?" he asked for what seemed like the millionth time. He was incredibly intrigued by all this. Creeped out a little, but definitely intrigued. Jack rolled his eyes again, but Teal'c had the never-ending patience to answer the "young" man, using the term lightly.

"Indeed you did manage to accomplish this feat DanielJackson." Daniel looked at his hand oddly.

"Huh… interesting." He looked at the door suddenly. "Well that was weird."

"What now?" Jack said exasperated.

"I think someone's coming…"

"Oh? And how do you know that?"

"I… don't know…" Seconds later, the door slid open and revealed two Jaffa and Ammut. The three of them bowed as to not provoke her. Jack was getting sick and tired of bowing to her, as was Sam, Teal'c and Daniel. Djari took a lot of offense to it.

_"I hate this part."_

_Stop complaining Daniel._

_"But… I don't bow to gods… or goddesses."_

_And I do?_

_"Touché."_

_Thank you, now shut up and be a good servant. _

_"…"_

Groveling done for now, Ammut looked at the rather small crowd. "Join me for dinner, here are clothes you are to wear." She tossed clothes at each member of SG-1 and left.

"Well, that was heartfelt," Jack commented.


	33. Dinner Awaits

"So help me god!" Jack said while holding up the robes he was given to wear. "I am SO not wearing this!"

"Ja-ack." Daniel scolded him while putting on his own attire. "When in Rome…"

"Yeah yeah yeah, do as the Romans do, but this?" The bright red, gold, and green outfit glowed against his skin. It was worse than what Daniel had to wear at the summit meeting. Yeah, much worse. Sam politely waited as the men changed and then she was going to change. While changing, Daniel tripped over his robes and nearly fell into Teal'c. The larger child helped him up.

"Thanks T," he said blushing.

_Smooth hot shot._

_"Be quiet you. It's bad enough having one personality in my head."_

_Wasn't my choice._

_"Coulda rejected me…"_

_I like you._

Jack looked so silly in his gown that Teal'c started laughing and helped the wayward colonel fix it so it sat right. The colonel had this look on his face that clearly said he was not happy with the arrangements.

"Okay Carter," he grumbled unhappily, "your turn." She shot her child-like friends a nasty look that said "no-looking-guys." They spun around to place their backs to her.

"Oh jeez."

"What?" Daniel and Jack said at the same time. Daniel gave Jack a nasty look and Jack stuck out his tongue.

"Look at this!" she said not even acknowledging their antics. Carter unfurled the robes. Well, they weren't robes at all, but rather a really ornate dress. It was pretty, but something she would **never** wear. It was nearly as bad as the time on Simarka when Abu made her wear that dress and head piece. It was a yellow canary color with an overlay of blue, with red and black dots or speckles. Not something Sam Carter would wear, but it looked like she had too.

"Stop complaining Carter, it's not bad!"

"Remember, when in Rome…"

"Shut up Daniel," she growled as she put on the dress.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

According to Goa'uld fashion sense, the group was pretty handsome looking. According to Earth, it was a dress-up party. The same two jaffa escorted the four kids down to Ammut's "dining hall." They mostly fooled around down the halls, being loud and obnoxious. The escorts kept glancing down at them curiously. What had their goddess gotten them into?

They arrived at the hall and the escorts stood stiff and proud. It was obvious that they were there.

"Kree tau'ri!" one of the goons said. The other knocked the kids in the back of the legs.

"Hey! Don't ruffle the clothes!" Jack smart-mouthed as they walked in. Jaffa number one glared at the impertinent boy. Jack met that gaze with deadly calm. Sam and Daniel let go a small snicker and Teal'c looked amused. They walked in royally like they were the best behaved children in the galaxy. That ended quickly.

"Hey look, it's Anubis." And there he was, dining with "their" goddess.

Were they in deep shit or what?

* * *

to let you guys know... i havent actually decided what to do with nano-SG-1... whether they stay kids or not... besides, i have a part written for them to get back to the SGC... so be patient and TTHANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS... but i'm greedy, can i have more? lol 


	34. Dinnertime

like i said bookworm.. i have them scheduled to be back a the SGC...lol, or should i make them go to summer camp as kids?

* * *

The four "kids" stopped in their tracks. Oh yes, they were dead. That is if Anubis still remembered them. Well duh, of course he did. Anubis folded his hands and rested his elbows on the table. A very human expression.

"Tau'ri children."

"Sit," Ammut urged seductively. Seeking the female's protection in this matter, they all sat next to Ammut – on the side without the hand device. This was the farthest they were going to get from Anubis. She took pity on them. "My lord will not harm you, my children."

"Bull shit," Jack murmured. Sam giggled at the bad word. "Shh!" he said warningly. Sam became serious again.

"Ammut."

"Yes my lord?"

"These charges attacked my ship with their Tau'ri devices. How did they get access to them?" he ordered. Ammut looked surprised. She looked at her "children" carefully, judging them. Daniel gulped for fear of his friends. Hopefully, she would forgive them all.

"Did you?" she asked quietly. Jack guessed that she honestly didn't mind if they blew up Anubis since Goa'uld didn't like having overlords. Yet, she would have to put on a façade for Anubis because he might kill her if she didn't.

Jack nodded solemnly with his head down. "I'm… I'm… really sorry mistress. Honest!" Sam followed in suit with her head down in shame. Teal'c simply lowered his head. Daniel did nothing as he was not being held accountable.

Sam started to cry silently and Jack held her, trying to comfort his friend. Ammut reached over and pat Sam's back lovingly. Apparently, this gould was very nice. She actually cared! Until you turned against her… Ammut turned to Anubis at the end of the table.

"My lord, they did not know better. Please forgive them." She moved away from the table and knelt in front of the half ascended mess wearing robes. Anubis signaled for her to rise.

"Do not let your young ones loose again. Or I **will** kill you," he growled. Also apparent was that Ammut seemed to be in Anubis' good graces. Thank god…

Ammut returned to her seat and stroked Sam, who was sitting closest to the goddess. "Thank you my lord," she said batting her eyelashes. "I have big plans for my children." Sam smiled, through her teeth, at Ammut. The woman grinned back.

"Eat," he commanded completely ignoring the almost groveling Ammut. Food had been laid out and it looked like Earth food. It could have been poisoned though.

Daniel was going to try it first.

Since the rest of SG-1 couldn't talk to Daniel (he was being a good Goa'uld), he did it anyway knowing what the rest of the team wanted. He nibbled on a piece of meat. It tasted like turkey… he thought. Yes, it was turkey, but to confirm that he asked Ammut.

"My lady, this is the Tau'ri food known as turkey?" Djari asked, but it was more like a statement. She nodded. He nodded back and tasted it over. When Djari cleared it of having poisons, they nodded slowly to the others.

'Way to go Daniel!' Jack thought to himself. 'Stepping up to the plate!' He cautiously grabbed some light turkey, some mashed potatoes, and jello. Ah, he had almost forgotten the pie! Sam looked on in glee. If this was all the Goa'uld knew about human food, they were in for a very long Thanksgiving.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Finally, the meal was over and the children were full. Anubis had barely touched anything. Nano-SG-1 had eaten a ton because they didn't know if it was to be their last meal. All the pies were gone, all 15 of them. Even Ammut helped.

_"Oh God, I'm full!"_

_Now who's fault is that?_

_"Yours… all yours."_

_How's that?_

_"You didn't stop me."_

_Oh shut up. At least you're not fat Daniel Jackson!_ Daniel suppressed a chuckle. He was now! After all that, he was surprised he hadn't exploded. Teal'c had eaten a lot more than they had. A lot.

He ate a lot more than humans did on average to begin with. He polished off an entire pie by himself and a half a turkey. Anubis had watched in amusement. He suddenly beckoned to his underling. She went to his side at the head of the table.

"Begin implantation immediately."


	35. My Children Are Waiting

you're right bookworm.. i never said whether they were going home that way... hehe... and nighpheonix... (glares at) the food gets in his face plate and ascends, then he eats it! like i said before "All living things must eat. In this, you and I are alike." anyways... **THANKS FOR REVIEWING!**

* * *

The young ones started in fear. Implantation? Goa'ulds! Daniel chanced a glance in his team's direction to see them with the whites of their eyes showing. Of course, Teal'c couldn't be implanted, but it seemed they hadn't figured that out yet. Daniel's eyes widened and glowed. Again, the rest of the team pulled back in fear and disgust. The good doctor lowered his eyes apologetically. Djari had reacted strongly and taken over brief control. She felt what he felt about Daniel's companions. Djari loved those kids as much as he did, not only that but Sha'ri's conversion had something to do with it too. 

SG-1 tried to regain a sense of control and calmness… if not internally. The four sprats sat straight and looked attentive. Ammut smiled at her lord and turned to face her charges. It was an evil smile… no, a cunning and deceptive grin. All she needed was the creepy evil laugh to top it all off. She strutted slowly back towards her end of the table, bowed, and gestured to the four children in her midst.

"Come along children. There is a surprise for you," she rasped in her gould voice. The kids hopped off the chairs, onto the floor, and walked out the door. As they walked away, Jack peered over his shoulder.

Grinning, he boldly stuck his tongue out as far as it would go at Anubis.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The four companions were placed back into their holding cell until Ammut needed them. There, they swiftly reacquired their SGC clothes. Feeling more comfortable, Sam sat down and sobbed. She feared she would never see her daddy again after this. Sam knew her daddy had a snake in his head, but it was like Daniel's snake… a nice one! Jack heard her needing cry and sat next to his second in command. Daniel has also taken up residence near his friend as had Teal'c.

Jack let a tear escape from his eyes and he hugged Sam tightly. Daniel placed an arm around the pair and Teal'c patted her back. Turning away, Daniel wiped some tears from his eyes too. Jack grinned sadly at his male friends and Daniel responded with a slight nod. All of them sat in a tight group bound by the same awful fate. To be implanted or watch your friends be implanted.

Now Carter turned and openly wept on Jack's shirt.

"Am I gonna see daddy ever again?" she stuttered through tears. Her bottom lip was shaking. Jack and Daniel nodded.

"We're gonna bring you back, no matta what!" Daniel proclaimed. Jack nodded.

"I'm gonna get in there and beat the crap outta these mean ole jaffa. Teal'c'll help too!" Jack stated.

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed I will O'Neill. I would risk my life for yours." Sam blubbered and nodded slowly. She was miserable. Sam hadn't seen her brother Mark in ages and her daddy she'd seen for a few minutes. She hadn't gotten to spend time with them and she might never again! At this thought, she burst out crying in pain again. Jack continued being her moral support and tissue.

Ammut watched from the pel'tak in amusement. Who knew Tau'ri could be so weak? It must be a miserable planet, she thought disgusted.

She grinned as she knew the time was coming for her three children to finally have proper hosts.

* * *

I'm evil... Truth be told bookworm... i haven't decided yet! yeah, that was a tad bit short... i hope to get the next one out soon! 


	36. Last Strings Pulled

i'm an unhappy author... no one's reviewing except for a few people here and there... and you all know, the more reviews the more i write - which is actualy true b/c if i get reviews and see it in my email, i'll remember to write and think of ideas...

anyway, sorry it took so long and i hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Sam Carter had calmed down considerably although Daniel still hovered nearby his friend. Jack had gotten up and started to pace the room. Sam wiped her tears from her face ashamed. The major hadn't quite figured out why she had had another scare like that. Teal'c watched Jack pace back and forth. Every so often, O'Neill would peer outside of the holding cell at the guard. He would stop, think, and keep going.

_"I wonder what Jack's thinking about…"_ Daniel wondered idly.

_Who knows… it's O'Neill. _

_"Good point."_

_Although I think he might be trying to find a way out of here._

_"Well no kidding!" _Chuckles sounded in Daniel's head and he smiled. The doctor thought that having a snake in his head would be much worse than this.

_Don't call me a snake!_

_"Sorry…"_

_Hmm…_

Daniel grimaced as Jack said something.

"Eureka!"

"Eureka?" Sam echoed.

"What is 'eureka'?" Teal'c followed with the raised eyebrow. Jack waved everyone over and they huddled up.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In the pel'tak, Ammut watched with a growing frown. The four were conspiring against her and she knew it. What treachery! With vengeance, she switched the screen off and with a ruffle of material; Ammut had breezed out the door. She made her way as fast as possible down the corridors. Her jaffa respected her and this was not unusual that she flew down the halls. Most other of her kind would stay on the pel'tak and bring the subjects to them… unless it was the famed SG-1.

"Get out of my way!" she growled in her grisly, goa'uld voice. The jaffa before her scrambled.

_What are you doing?_ A very faint voice called out. Again, she shot out a command to her jaffa – therefore elegantly ignoring the voice. _Listen to me! I know you can-_ The voice got suddenly cut off. The host's rebellion was smothered, for now.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jack and Daniel stood next to the doorway idly. Teal'c and Sam hung around the back of the room, waiting with patience. The four were sooo bored. Daniel wanted to play on the computer and so did Sam. She wanted to investigate those games further. But mean old Jack had said no. They had a plan to carry out anyway,

The mini-colonel stood there tapping his small foot in impatience. He had more self-control than the others, excluding the snake in Daniel's head. Teal'c had an eyebrow raised as he stood waiting for O'Neill's command to execute the plan.

As if on command, the doors of the cell opened with a small hiss. Jack nodded and Sam smiled sweetly to the entrance jaffa and in came Ammut in her royal attire. Teal'c tapped the "god" on the shoulder and she turned. Punching the gould in the nose, Teal'c slid under her legs and out the door. Quickly performing a home base slide, Daniel and Sam slid through the robes on their bellies to freedom.

Jack took a quick look at her and Ammut locked eyes with him. Undoing her robe and showing her hand, the ribbon device showed. The gleam of gold was enough to make Jack start. He smiled slyly and Ammut looked slightly confused as she let loose the energy beam. Cartwheeling out of the way, he did a nice, neat flip up to a bar above the gould's head. Swinging carefully, Jack kicked Ammut in the head and jumped off to land with his friends. Off they went to the transporter.

Ammut, outraged at her inability to decimate the puny scoundrels, charged after them with at least twenty jaffa.

Sam tripped and fell over her shoelaces and Ammut let another deadly beam rip by the children. Gaining on the transporter, SG-1 put all of their remaining energy into the last twenty yards and ran.

* * *

did ya like it? please tell me... hate, love, i don't care... REVIEW! (your god said so) 


	37. Caught

ok... sorry for the wait... its worth it TRUST ME! this is my favorite chapter so far... i really like it! i hope you like it too! TELL ME!

btw, i plan to write ALL through tonight, so u might have a bunch of stories to review! ENJOY!

* * *

Ammut ran after them as fast as her robes would allow her to go, shouting out orders right and left to her jaffa. According to one of her "teams" the children had suddenly disappeared around a corner. They had thoroughly investigated the place to find nothing. Confused, they stood post outside the area.

When Ammut reached them she was absolutely livid. Storming inside, only stopping long enough to grab a staff weapon, she found nothing like her jaffa. Then the door closed behind her with a loud slam. Spinning wildly, she called out to the jaffa behind the door working to get their goddess out of danger.

The "goddess's" newly acquired weapon was skillfully torn out of her hands by a little black boy with a mean look on his face. Pivoting again, she found the little blonde girl pointing a zat gun at her.

"We got you, you bastardess." Ammut looked at the portion of the wall that the voice had come from. Jack walked through it to allow Ammut to see him clearly. The fake wall disappeared with a small zip and revealed Daniel as well.

"How's your morning been Ammut?" Daniel asked, free of any Goa'uld taint in his voice. She gaped first in surprise then confusion and shortly after that, anger.

"I implanted you with my own hands!" she snarled loudly. Daniel's head dropped and his eyes glowed.

"That you did, but not with one of your Goa'uld scum," Djari spat back with just as much venom. Stunned at being fooled so easily into this trap, Ammut wildly started to fire on the four. Each blast hit a Tok'ra force shield that was surrounding her. Angered beyond the breaking point, she howled madly.

_What did I say would happen? _the little voice asked slyly and spitefully. _Didn't I say the Tok'ra would find you again?_ The voice slowly gained way, but Ammut silenced it again.

"Who are you?" she shouted with all the loathing, malice, and hatred she could possibly put in her voice. It was very scary sounding – like a really good Halloween malice voice that was outraged. But add in the Goa'uld voice and it made for a voice from a horrible nightmare.

The kids shuddered, but Jack assumed a sway in his walk, strolled up to the shield and slowly pronounced his answer.

"S.G. 1."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ammut walked down the hallways filled to the brim with jaffa wondering about her well-being with four children in hold. She said she was okay and that she would be going down to the surface to execute the children. Her First Prime asked if she wanted him there, but she answered in the negative. Confused, but loyal, he respectfully bowed his head and left.

SG-1 had disabled the hand device Ammut wore by some fancy doohickey that Carter had come up with. Pretty cool actually.

At any rate, the team now led an unarmed and shielded Ammut down to the rings and beamed themselves down. Ammut had Jack and Sam at her back with weapons pointed at it and Daniel and Teal'c in the front watching her. With one small nod, she would be history.

It was odd that she hadn't killed herself yet because gould were always like 'DEATH BEFORE CAPTURE!' The fact she was letting them take her to the rings made it obvious that she thought she would get away.

Again, it was Goa'uld arrogance showing through. What a hassle.

That little voice in Ammut's head had reared its head again, but slowly this time and carefully.

_Hey, SG-1 for you and me? Interesting…_

_"Shut up scum!" _Ammut growled back.

_No! You've kept me here for sooo long. My turn to get back!_

The train halted as Ammut stopped short and her head dropped limp onto her chest. Jack and Sam walked straight into the "goddess's" butt and looked at Daniel and Teal'c for an explanation.

"Em Hotep?" a very faint voice said. Looking around, SG-1 couldn't see anyone except Ammut. "Hello?" the voice corrected itself in English. Realizing that "Em Hotep" was Ancient Egyptian for "hello," Daniel stared up at Ammut in surprise. The other three followed his gaze.

"Hello? I'm– GET AWAY WISP OF MEMORY!" The voice had drastically changed from human sounding to Goa'uld again. Startled by this sudden change, Jack lightly poked the Goa'uld thing in the back and ordered her to keep walking. Ammut muttered to herself.

"Nothing of the host remains… you know that well wisp."


	38. More Mysteries!

yikes... i'm starting to slack off arent i... i need reviews! lol... um, here's a nice long one that'll keep u thinking until the next chapter! and thats half done mind you - surprise!

Chapter 38!

* * *

Jack and Sam exchanged a curious look at each other as they walked down the corridors. Now it was obvious this part of the ship hadn't heard the news of their goddess going down to the planet because few jaffa milled around here. The ones surrounding the rings stiffened as she growled at them in Goa'uld. They returned a stiff jaffa-salute and she beamed herself and the four children down to the planet's surface.

Lightly Jack pushed Ammut out of the ring platform and onto the stone of the temple. She looked very annoyed at this unseemly behavior.

"Keep it moving lady," Jack said to her. "Or ladies…" he added. Daniel tilted his head for a second as if to suggest he was saying 'Too true…' Ammut glanced around warily as if searching for something… or someone. Again Jack shoved her in front of them and beckoned for the team to have a meeting.

Ammut looked at them like she was trying to burn them with her vision. Jack, Sam, and Teal'c kept a close eye on her while Daniel and Djari scanned the surrounding area.

_Something's wrong here…_

_'I know. What though?'_

_If I knew… I'd tell you._

_'Right.'_

"Jack, something's wrong here," Daniel stated nervously. His eyes darted around the room.

"I can sense it," Djari said softly. The other three quickly brought their weapons up and realized it was Daniel.

"What?" Daniel's voice was back without a head bob or anything. Just a seamless transition.

"It that another nifty trick of yours Djari?" Jack asked even though Daniel had control of the body… for now. O'Neill slowly lowered his weapon and the other two followed. Daniel waited to speak until all the weapons were down.

"I am sorry to startle you all like that. I should have warned you that… we can switch places at anytime," Daniel finished. There had been a very small pause where Djari and Daniel changed places.

"You are extremely skilled Tok'ra Djari of Sinion," Teal'c said to Djari and Daniel. Daniel smiled.

"She's flattered. Really."

"Snakes can be flattered? How hard is it?"

"Coming from you Jack O'Neill," Djari's playful yet hard voice joked. "Very hard." Jack smiled – it was a snake with attitude and a sense of humor. Not only that, but it seemed to know that telling him it wasn't a snake wasn't going to change Jack in any way.

Sam glanced around at the four walls surrounding them. She vaguely wondered if she had any crayons… or even colored pencils to fill in the spots of color the artist had missed. Rummaging through her sack, Carter found a small stub of a pastel crayon. Looking up in triumph, her eyes wandered to where Ammut was. Sam's face grew worried and she replaced her pastel crayon.

"I hate to break this up guys, but where's Ammut?"

She was gone.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_'Why didn't you tell me about this?'_

_Jeez, I'm sorry. I didn't know she could do that!_

_'Ick… it's okay, we should have kept a closer eye on her.'_

_Yeah probably. _

_'This reminds me of Harry Potter… you know, the Invisibility Cloak.'_

Djari 'rolled her eyes' at him. Daniel felt the mental roll in the back of his head and smiled. It did remind him if Harry Potter and company except **they** were the Fab Four of SG-1!

"We now have the four fudges, aptly named 'the Fanatic Four,'" Daniel said in a soft announcer's voice talking to himself. "They search for the elusive mygth!" He smiled. Jack, over at the other wall, wondered if blending with that Tok'ra was such a good idea after all.

A breeze of air swept by the four, alerting them to someone's movement. Since no one from SG-1 had moved, it had to be the mysterious Ammut.

Daniel used his enhanced vision and Djari's strange powers to track the disturbances in the air flow. He quickly crept off to a far corner and Jack, Sam, and Teal'c followed covertly.

In the corner, a small invisibility shield was breaking apart revealing the goddess rocking back and forth mumbling to herself in frantic Egyptian. It seemed she was mumbling a long prayer of thanks to Ra and the other gods. And it was being spoken in a human timbre. Ammut looked like she was defeated for now and the host had reemerged. A strong host by the looks of it.

"Em hotep?" Daniel offered soft, but causally. She startled and looked up at the archeologist and his team.

"SG-1…" she said in a distinctly accented voice. "I am…" She doubled over in pain. Jack and Daniel tried to grab her arms.

"I am Tiy." Daniel looked startled.

"You're kidding right?" She shook her head in pain.

"Amenhotep is… was my husband. She is coming—" The woman slumped over and passed out. Now that the threat of Ammut gaining control of the body was momentarily put out of mind, maybe Daniel could explain.

"Daniel. An explanation please?" He sighed. This could take a while.


	39. Ch ch ch ch Changes

to my confuse-ed reviewers... what confuses ya? tell me and i may be able to solve ur confusion...

see you guys were nice, so you get another chapter! 2 chappies in 2 days! and almost 200 reviews!

* * *

"So Daniel, you're telling us we have royalty on our hands?" Sam asked in awe. The woman looked and acted funny, but she was nice one second and mean the next. Very confusing!

"Not only that, she was well documented in her day and she actively participated in daily affairs so much she got recognized along with her husband, Amenhotep's, name as queen and king. Very significant," Daniel finished his history lesson. Jack looked more than bored.

"So this means? What?" Jack inquired sarcastically. "She's gonna smite us down or what?"

"No Jack, she was a good person Queen Tiy and very smart," he said looking 'discreetly' at Sam.

She smiled and whispered "Great for her!"

"I can't believe she's in such good shape after so long though. We all saw Apophis' demise," the man remarked. Jack furrowed his brows.

"**He** didn't matter. She didn't get on my bad side. I like her actually. Well… the **real** her…" Jack said thoughtfully. "I wish we'd thrown **him** off a cliff."

"Indeed O'Neill. I too wished to do harm to Apophis, but this woman is… 'alright' as you say," Teal'c said slowly trying to make his voice as deep as possible. It didn't work. The children quickly hid amused smiles as Teal'c piercing glare ran through them.

"So what do we do with a temporally misplaced Egyptian queen?" Sam asked curiously. The others looked at her. "What?" she asked annoyed.

"Oh nothing, it's just a good question!" Jack exclaimed. Daniel and Teal'c murmured their assent.

"Well, when Ammut wakes up, she will not be a pleasant person to deal with. If Tiy wakez up… well… we have a chat with her. Tell her what'z happened; ask her how she's still with us. The usual." Daniel shrugged. Yeah, that was about it. But "In the mean time, we wait for that Tok'ra ship to arrive and get us off thiz dump," the young archeologist finished irritably.

Jack smiled. "Your lisp came back."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Little girl instincts had gripped Sam and dragged her over to the unconscious female enigma in the corner. What was she? How did Tiy stay alive so long? What was Ammut? What a strange little snake…

Sam poked the queen/proclaimed goddess to see what would happen. Nothing. She was disappointed. Frowning, she poked Ammut/Tiy harder. This time their head slumped to their chest. Sam whipped out her handy-dandy notebook she had brought just for this kind of thing.

She glanced at the men sitting on the decorative jut out on the wall. Sam rolled her eyes in disgust and gave a disgruntled snort before turning back to the woman.

"Boys, never do their job… sitting around talking **non** stop. Lazy people… why do we need boys? They are sooo disgusting and icky. And lazy. They could **help** here, jeez," the little blond girl muttered to herself in obvious disdain. Mini-Carter was now inspecting the limp body for anything that might have led to the discovery of the cloaking device. In doing this, Sam stopped and looked at Tiy's face.

It looked like Tiy was a beautiful person during her reign. With her smooth, flowing, black as night hair, her dark green eyes, and perfectly tanned skin Sam could see why she was so documented. The woman had the look of an intelligent person, but she had the looks of a model – in short she was beautiful. Ammut had disfigured those looks. Not in a physical way, no, her face was the same essentially. It was the person behind the face that had destroyed the beauty. Millennia of pain, cruelty, and power had ruined the sparkle in her eyes and the softness of her face. But now, sleeping, she looked as pretty as she was at least 4000 years ago except for one thing…

"Hey guys!" she called to those who were behind her. "Come here and lookie." The three men scampered over to her.

"What you find Carter?" Jack said peering over her small shoulder. Sam pointed to Tiy's face. The small wrinkles now stood out.

"She's beginning to age and die."


	40. ZAT! I Got Ya!

EEK! you guys have **NO** idea how happy i am! 40 chapters and almost **200 reviews**? I love you guys! (puts out platter of yummy brownies) treats for my reviewers! No treats if you're not a reviewer...

another chapter for you guys before Thanksgiving... TURKEY DAY!

Urgo: And pie...  
Seanait: Hush you.

* * *

They all kind of stopped in either amazement or disbelief.

"Oh… that's bad," said Mr. Obvious. Daniel turned to stare at Jack. "What?"

"Of course it's baa-aad! Not just because we need to get her to the Tok'ra… ALIVE may I remind you."

"Well, there's that…"

"She is also a most interesting subject," Teal'c mentioned idly.

"And that too. Besides, I would hate to upset Carter's dad," Jack said to his team. He turned to each one of them slowly and suddenly realized how silly this was. He started chuckling much to the confusion of his teammates.

"Sir…?"

"Nothing Carter. I was going to say something significant and realized that we were all little kids!" he laughed. The other three exchanged warily glances.

_Is he always like this?_

_'Actually… this is quite charming.'_

_Oh…_

"So… what about our mystery?" Carter said in a loud voice. Teal'c and Daniel realized she was trying to get them back on track. Way to go Sam!

"Well, she needs to get to a sarcophagus and heal at the moment," Djari spoke out. Jack jumped nearly a foot in the air and whipped out his hand gun.

"Jesus Daniel! Warn us next time. Bow your head or something!" Jack yipped.

"We are sorry O'Neill. Daniel is apologizing profusely," she explained.

"Yeah… I'm sure. He'd better be apologizing," Jack grumbled back and slowly replaced his weapon in its holster. Sam and Teal'c did the same.

"Anyway… she needs to be healed. At least until we get back with the Tok'ra," Djari restated. Daniel took control without telling his friends.

"Sam… did you…?" She tilted her head a little to the right. Teal'c did the same. They looked like two lost puppies. Carter's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh yeah! By chance, yes." Jack stood up.

"Would you two mind speaking in words nest time?"

"It's a common characteristic of a geek Jack, deal with it," Daniel explained with a 'sometimes-you-are-so-clueless' look on his face. Sam tried to suppress a giggle, but it escaped as a small squeak.

"Carter? Are you laughing?"

"No sir… of course not sir. Absolutely not sir…"

"Stop!"

"Yes sir." Carter was now turning a shade of red because she had to hold in that loud laugh.

"Red looks good on you Sam," Daniel said without looking up at her. Teal'c was most definitely left at least a thousand years behind the three Tau'ri.

"What is so amusing Major Carter?"

The three humans started to laugh hilariously.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A small whirring sound descended over the pyramid as a figure clad in strange brown clothing ringed down from his spacecraft. Turning about he found nothing in the room he'd landed in. Thank god…

The next sound he heard was a tiny "buzzit" from a zat gun. The last sound he heard was a familiar voice saying: "Oh shit… Carter, I think I got someone of interest here…"

The man woke a few moments later, much to the relief of SG-1. The blond eight-year-old sauntered up to the man.

"Hi dad," she said weakly. He looked around for the brown-haired culprit with scheming brown eyes.

"This is a **great** way to meet your second-in-command's father Jack. Not gonna get you very far in life if you keep zattin' them," The Tok'ra called out. Jack poked his head out from behind a wall.

"So you're not going to shoot me or anything Jake?" he asked warily.

"I might… but not now. Frasier says that your bodies might not be able to withstand that." Jacob Carter grinned evilly. "But trust me… when you guys get back again, you're so going down Jack!"

O'Neill simply whimpered.


	41. A Reunion!

last one forabout a week (or more)

**Nightpheonix**: You brownie stealer... love ya!  
**SG-Fan**: 200 more? (_eyes bug out_) (_hugs_)  
**Gremblin**: You like brownies too eh? (_gives a couple more to reviewers_)  
**SilverRider**: So sorry Urgo jumped from me to you... gotta learn how to restrain him... makes a good excuse right?  
**BookWorm37**: I TOTALLY agree! Pumpkin pie is the way to go! (along with apple and pudding pie of course)  
**DarthTater:** really now? so glad you stayed on!  
**SGCFan4Ever: **Thanks much!

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

* * *

"Daa-aad! You can't hurt my commanding officer!"

"And why not?" he returned with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Because then you wouldn't have anyone to run your crazy missions to weird places!" Jack spoke up.

"Yeah that!" Sam added. Jake playfully glared at his young daughter.

_They're getting the better of you Jacob._

_'I realize that… tell me something I **don't** know…"_

_Okay… the physical properties of anti-matter in an alternate universe where only anti-matter materials exist and not materials made of matter as we know it, are…_

Jacob firmly planted his face in his hand.

"Give up yet Jake?" Jack asked with a hint of a taunt in his voice.

From the palm of his hand he grumbled, "Maybe." Daniel and Jack grinned while Sam just smiled. Teal'c was kind of left in the dark again.

"Should we not remove Ammut from this area and place her onto Jacob Carter's ship?" Teal'c asked curiously, wondering where the Tau'ri conversation was going.

fireman's carry.

"Wow." Sam sounded very surprised, or at least amused. She hadn't leaized her dad could still pick a person up like that. Then again, he **did** have a symbiote amplifying his strength.

_Anti-matter in this universe is the same as matter in our universe because this other universe is founded off of anti-matter, or what we call 'anti-matter,' just as our universe is founded of what we call 'matter.' So they might call us 'anti-matter.' Now, in our universe, if we put even the smallest amount of matter and anti-matter together, and I'm talking like one of your grams, the results would be devastating! As a matter of fact, excuse the pun…_

Jacob groaned. What a day.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once beaming up and depositing Ammut in the Tok'ra vessel, the team and Jacob went to the front of the ship to await takeoff. Jake sat down, pulled the "video game device" (as Jack referred to it) over his head and placed his hands on the orange globe in front of him.

"Hey uh Jacob… how long is this flight?" Jack wondered. Sam grinned, he'd spoke her thoughts.

"Lemme say this: it could be longer…" _'If you don't shut it!'_ the man finished in his head.

_Well **sooooorrry!** You asked, I gave. _

_'And since when is it your policy to do that?' _Jacob growled.

_Umm… since this morning. _

_'Ah… suuure.'_

_You wound me Carter. You wound me._

_'So sue me…'_ the host mumbled.

"Having some snake problems are we?" Jack asked carefully. He knew Djari wouldn't bash his head in about the slur, but Selmak might and Jake had no compunctions about it.

The older man sighed and grinned. "Perhaps." And speaking of Djari and Selmak…

The team exchanged looks meaningfully. "Dad, you should know something," Sam said quietly.

"Mm hmm?" he replied while carefully guiding the ship away from the atmosphere of the planet.

"_Tec'ma'te Selmak. Nanb'tu'qua_?" a Tok'ra voice spoke kindly. Jacob jumped out of his skin and the eyes glowed.

"_Aray kree_!" Selmak shouted. She then spoke to SG-1 in the same language "_Shak'ti'qua_!"

Unruffled, Djari continued without the interference of her host's team. "Tal'mac Djari of Sinion, sister to the Tok'ra Selmak." It was priceless to see Jacob's eyes and mouth open so quickly. Teal'c quickly transferred control to his console and drove the ship.

"Djari? _Noc tao qua_?" Selmak placed her host's hand on his head. "_Tao've'nu_… it really is tao've'nu," Selmak almost stuttered.

"Finally, some English," Jack passed to Sam. She smiled. This was weird and touching. For Jack, the only part that creeped him out was the fact that both Jacob and Daniel were speaking Goa'uld and it was in that Goa'uld burr. Other than that though, the whole thing was really quite nice. Jack found himself smiling at the reunited sisters… in male bodies. Weird…

Apologizing in advance to her host, Selmak hugged her younger sister. Djari hugged her right back.

Now **this** was weird… Daniel and Jacob? Hugging! He could sooo see if this reuniting had taken place back home in the briefing room as the plan had first been laid out. What would have happened if Hammond walked in?

Jack's face cracked into a large smile at this thought.

"Cute isn't it?" Sam asked Jack softly.

"Yeah, in a rather odd sort of way. I mean it **is** your father and Daniel hugging," Jack pointed out.

"True, but still…"

"Yeah." Apparently, the two men were getting sick of this because the two symbiotes backed away from each other. Daniel took over flawlessly as Jacob did it the old fashioned way.

"Sorry Daniel," he said a little grossed out.

"Yeah, me too."

"Ewwww!" Sam and Jack chorused together. Jacob and Daniel glared at them and Teal'c simply grinned.

* * *

**roughly translated Goa'uld:**

_Tec'ma'te Selmak - Hello Selmak  
__Namb'tu'qua - How are you?  
__Aray kree! - Stay there!  
__Shak'ti'qua? - What's the meaning of this?  
__Tal'mac Djari... - I am Djari...  
__Noc tao qua? - Not dead?  
__Tao've'nu - Unbelievable_

Like it? hate it? anything in between? **TELL ME**! i love feedback!

again: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!


	42. Children and Long Trips

meep! you reviewers make me happy! you non-reviewers... you make me sad. _(shakes fist at) _i hope you all had a wonderfully fattening Thanksgiving!

**BookWorm37:** lol, SHOULD have been!  
**SGCFan4Ever:** glad you liked it and hope u keep coming back for more!  
**SG-Fan:** Know where I can get a great recipe for pudding pie?  
**SilverRider:** yeah, the reunion was a load of fun to write!  
**Darth Tater:** it does seem remarkably Daniel-like doesn't it? lol  
**Nightpheonix:** thank you for the "idea" and i have your CD!  
**Lorency:** _(blushes)_ thank you very much!

oh... should tell ya - it's now a policy of mine to get 7+ reviews on a chapterbefore posting another chapter... not that the above named need to worry! they've been doing fine!

and finally - this chapter is dedicated to **Nightpheonix** because she lent me her idea - word for word! (its most of the last conversation!) **_ENJOY!_**

* * *

The two implanted males turned to the peanut gallery and Daniel stuck out his tongue at them. 

_How immature…_ his symbiote sighed in a very preppy manner. Daniel grinned like a fool - with a missing tooth. Jacob glanced down at the little man with an 'okay-i-don't-know-you-anymore' look. Jacob refused to know ANY of SG-1 anymore.

_How immature…_Selmak commented dryly.

_'Mmm… very,'_ Jacob agreed. Little did the sisters know that they had just echoed each other.

Selmak took one last lingering glance at her sister in such an odd predicament and sighed. Only she could have done that… Selmak mentally shook her head and let Jake continue on with his responsibilities.

"I got it Teal'c, thank you," Jacob said to the young Teal'c, who was still at the mercy of pre-puberty. He simply bowed his head in acknowledgment and hopped into the next chair. "No Teal'c, I'm fine, really. Go… umm… play with Jack and company."

"I have no desire to Jacob Carter, but thank you," Teal'c answered almost whispering.

"It's not that I want to get rid of you or anything…"

_Yes you do._

"… but I need to have a chat with Selmak about something."

_What!_

"That is… 'okay' with me, Jacob Carter," the little black boy answered again.

"Teal'c, please. Just this once?" Jacob had sunk down to begging and they all knew it, especially his symbiote.

_Sucka!_

'_Oh hush you!'_

Teal'c finally bowed his head again, hopped out of the chair and moped on back to the other children.

_Mean ole Jacob, sending Teal'c off to play with teasing playmates? How did Sam survive you?_

'_I don't know, ask her...'_

_Very carefully I suppose._

'_Hey, I was a good father!'_ Jake answered, not really taking much offense to the comment.

_Never said you were not. Only said that you were probably intolerable._

'_Hmmrghrmm…'_

_I didn't hear you! _Selmak said sing-songy.

'_Nothing you over-grown worm.'_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It wasn't long before Jacob heard some yelling in the cargo area of his ship. It was a guaranteed situation – throw a couple of kids in a room together and **something** **_will_** happen. End of story. Period – no question marks needed.

Teal'c hovered over Jacob's shoulder once again for the third time in an hour or so.

"Have we arrived at our destination yet, Jacob Carter?"

"No Teal'c, we haven't," Jacob said a little exasperatedly to the boy. Teal'c lowered his head, but stayed at his position behind the pilot's seat. Several moments passed by and Jake was getting nervous.

"Oh. Now?" the young Teal'c whispered again.

"No. We have about 6 million miles to go." Jacob watched Teal'c once again bow his head, linger, but move off towards the rear of the ship to his kel'nor'eeming spot in a corner. It had been sometime since they'd left Ammut's ship; somewhere around three maybe four –

"Ja-a-acob! Teal'c's on MY side of the cargo bay!" yelled a loud, interrupting voice which could **only** belong to one person.

"Jack, Teal'c, get on your own sides!" Jacob sighed, kids... He had forgotten what a handful they could be on long rides. Unfortunately, he had alsoforgotten the pacifiers at home…

"Ja-a-acob, Djari's on MY side of my mind!"

"Daniel, Djari, get on...your own...just get along!"

"Dad, I hafta go POTTY!"

"Can you hold it, sweetie?"

"NO-O-O-O!"

"Alright Sammie, you're going to have to go in one of the escape pods."

"But Daa-aad, that's YUCKY!"

"I'm sorry dear." Then Daniel and Jack decided to put up a bit of a fist fight – boyish masculinity kind of thing. Slowly losing his temper, the Tok'ra took in a deep breath.

"Do I have to pull this ship out of hyperspace!" Once again quieted, Jacob slumped in his chair and sighed heavily.

There were some days when he wondered why he signed up for this job.

* * *

_(giggles)_ REVIEW! or i **will** pull this ship out of hyperspace and you'd better believe it! 


	43. The Restaurant

A LONG ONE FOR YOU ALL! because i'm not sure when i'll be able to write again (tech week for Oliver! and EVIL project)

**Lorency: I know, right? poor jake... sorta... hehe  
Darth Tater: Forget about the planet and you probably have it...  
nightpheonix: love ya! but may i suggest removing all food and drink from your mouth before reading this?  
SG-Fan: oooh... I'll send you one... better yet, lemme come over and we can make them together!  
SGCFan4Ever: I'm touched!  
sophiedb: glad you came back!  
BookWorm37: love you too! of course i'll update silly:)**

**this week's treat for reviewers... CHOCOLATE PUDDING PIE!**

* * *

It was bliss. Ungodly silence and bliss. The cabin air was being reconditioned quietly. The hyperspace generators were running smoothly with no hiccups. It was just him and the little red globe that steered the ship. 

Splat!

And the four kids in back.

Jacob slowly wiped away the glob of once dehydrated ice cream that had been thrown at his face. It had been a mistake giving them ice cream to calm down.

_You've been out of practice Jacob Carter. Your dad skills are severely lacking,_ said Selmak in a very good psychologist voice. He ignored her. Thwap. Splat!

The next gob nailed the cockpit window. This wasn't his ship! It was a rental! Couldn't they just keep their grubby hands off of **everything** or more or less, anything?

_No._

_'Shut it you.'_

Time to make threats again. The beautiful silence had lasted all of a half hour before they got bored again.

"You kids quiet down back there or I'll turn this ship around and give you back to Anubis!" he threatened, arching his back over the ship in true 'I'm-a-minivan-driving-dad-hear-me-roar' style. The sound quieted only to be disturbed by furious whispering.

"He can't do that, it's physically impossible," a smaller Carter whispered to her CO.

"Okay, that's good to know," he answered back. The sound level went up again.

"How much do you want to bet on that Sam?" Jacob said challengingly. Sam could never back down from a challenge.

"Everything."

He shrugged. "Fine then." Carefully he backed the ship into a state equal to neutral and swung it around facing the way they just came. "See?" Sam had her mouth wide open in awe.

"Okay Daddy, you can go now, I believe you." He voice was fearful of the fact that he could go back to Anubis. She was scared and it was because of him.

"I'm sorry darling." He scooped her up in a tight hug. With the other hand, he pushed the ship back into hyperspace.

"That's okay daddy, I forgive you. We were being bad." Sam put her head down then looked up with that puppy dog look. It had been SOO long since he'd gotten that look that his heart melted instantly. "Would you forgive me?" she asked.

He smiled like the Cheshire Cat. "Of course honey." With a kiss on the cheek, he sent her on her way.

_You are SO easy!_

_'No I'm not!'_

_Are too!_

_'Are… I'm not getting into this conversation. I haven't seen her at eight for thirty odd years.' _

_Excuuuuses!_

_'Oh yeah? Have you ever had children who have mastered the puppy dog look?'_

_Well…_

_'Yesss?'_

_Not like that._

_'HA!'_

_Okay, fine, I'm shutting up…_

_'Finally…'_

_I heard that!_ Selmak protested. Jacob mumbled to himself for no reason. It must have been at least forty minutes before he heard another complaint.

"Jaaaa-aake! Danny's lighting a fire with Djari!" Jack whined.

"Wha? Daniel Jackson!" The doctor's head quickly snapped up.

"Yeah?"

"What did I tell you about lighting fires to things?" Selmak said quickly.

"Sorry…" Djari responded.

"No you're not!"

"I am too!"

"They're very childish, don't ya think?" Jack whispered to Sam and Teal'c.

"Indeed O'Neill."

"I think it's funny."

Suddenly an outburst of "Shut up Selmak/Djari!" erupted. Daniel took his place on the floor and Jake returned to the helm.

_Five, four, three, two…_

"DADDY!"

Reacting quickly, Jacob spun around. "What?" he asked with a father's concern.

"I still gotta peeeeeeee!

"I'M HUNGRY!" the next voice yelled.

"Jack, you **just** ate!"

"I'm a growing boy Jacob, you should know that!" Jack explained like it was totally obvious even to a blind person.

_I know just the place!_

_'What? A fast food mart in hyperspace?'_

_As a matter of fact, yes. See, the Ancients that run the Mobile stations in…_

_'WHAT!'_

_Yeah, he made the whole chain. Anyway, his cousin came out here and granted the same option to weary hyperspace travelers._

_'What's this place called?'_

_The Restaurant at the End of the Universe._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Those toilets are dirty, dad!"

"Hey, Jacob, look! A gumball machine! Can I have a quarter? Huh? Huh, can I? Please?" another little voice begged. Other little voice crowded the poor man. Yes, he was definitely out of practice for little kids. One only expected their children to be eight once, you know?

"I wanna Big Mac, I'm starving!" the loud, squeaky voice whined again.

"Ja-a-acob, Djari's BUGGING me again!" the little doctor complained. The people in the restaurant moved very far away from the dad with the miss-matched group.

"Lower your voices guys!" Jacob restrained from yelling, but that would have been stupid. Somehow, something that looked like a Big Mac was placed in front of Jack. He looked up and thanked the waiter then dived in.

"Show starts in a minute folks!"

'_Uh, what show?'_ Jacob asked Selmak nervously.

_Your daughter will try to figure it out, Jack will appreciate it, Daniel will probably drop that ice cream sandwich of his…_

'_What ice cream sandwich!'_ Jake looked at Daniel for confirmation.

_Got ya… and Teal'c will respect it._

'_What is IT!'_ Silence. _'Oooooh…'_

The universe ended in a parade of colors.

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nightpheonix... i hope you took my recommendation under serious consideration... i **DO** wanna see you in school tomorrow and not dead cuz u choked on a chicken bone or something... that goes for **ALL** of you! **NO DYING!**

anyway... see that button? it contains goodies of unimaginable quality... press and they shall be released!


	44. Memories

(_grovels_) this is SUPPOSED to be the 1/7/06 anniversary piece, but the comp wouldnt let me post blah blah blah and so here i am... this WAS written on 1/7/06 tho! i beg for your forgivenness in my tardiness.

**americanCHICK41** - thanks a bunch! (_blushes_)  
**SilverRider** - oh yeah... super typical... and i mean it!  
**Darth Tater** - or maybe you review cuz your nice? LOL, ah, no more real HHGTTG things, only one in this chappie  
**nightpheonix** - dang it, i told you to put the food off! lol, only glad that your immortal and can come back to life!  
**SG-Fan** - i hope by now all of you are well? me hopes...  
**BookWorm37** - the goodies was the nice feeling you get when you do something nice... i think...

thank you for all your kind reviews and am looking forward to more... (_hinthintnudgenudge_) and they will get home... eventually... HEHE

this week's treat... iBrownies!

* * *

"Woooooooww!" said the three collective voices of the children as they looked on in awe and total shock. 

"That is most impressive Jacob Carter," Teal'c stumbled out. The other three children glared at him for a moment then resumed looking at the end of time and everything.

"It's so depressing." Jack looked around for the voice that was disturbing the show. "It's the end of everything and anything," it sighed.

"Jack found the source. "Shut up you tin can." He kicked the robot lightly. The robot scurried for the door.

"Look at that, violence everywhere. It's inherent in the system." The robot sighed again and it was gone. Jack turned his eyes back to space to see the "grand finale" of the universe. With a sudden collapse of color and utter silence, cheering and clapping broke out in the Restaurant and the children with Jacob and Teal'c were among the loudest.

"Daddy, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for bringing me here. That was so cool. It was…" she seemed to be in deep thought, "astronomical, to use exactly the right word!" Sam knew she'd heard that phrase said at least once before. The blonde hair, blue eyed mound of energy shook with giggles.

Jacob tousled his daughter's hair and smiled. Jack and Daniel walked up behind his daughter. The Tok'ra eyed them warily.

"Yes?"

"Umm… Jake… we're sorry for the pain we've caused you in the ship," Jack said first.

"Yeah, real sorry about that. I know I would have hated it," Daniel added. "I am sorry as well," Djari also put it.

"That's okay. I guess I forgive you because you're little and don't you deny it," Jacob mentioned when the two little boys started to open their mouths in protest. They smiled.

"We have one thing to ask you general," Daniel said kindly.

"What?"

The boys chorused together with huge smiles, "Where's the bathroom?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Back on the ship, the children slept. Well all except Sam, but she was trying to. Sudden headaches kept hitting her with waves of intense memory recall. The end of the universe show had reminded her of when she had to blow up a sun and how nervous she'd been.

_"Well, it's just that I've never blown up a star before sir."_

_"They say the first time is the hardest." She looked at him strangely. "They say…"_

Although Carter could feel the tension of the moment, that little phrase made her smile. She wished desperately that Tok'ra got headaches so they could store aspirin onboard. Sam rubbed her temples violently in order to release the memory.

Hearing a small groan, Jacob looked over his shoulder at the children and saw his beloved Sam rubbing her temples so vigorously that her skin might have fallen away.

"Honey? What's wrong?"

"Advil!" she gasped. He chuckled and slowly pulled out a box from inside his Tok'ra garb. Jacob walked back up front and grabbed the water bottle he carried in the water bottle holder he'd made last year and handed it to Sam.

"Thank you… oh what a headache," his daughter replied. She looked as if she was on the verge of crying.

"Hurt that bad?" he asked. She nodded with tears leaking out her eyes. With a bear hug from her teddy-bear-like father, she let those few tears out from the pain and sighed happily. There was no other place she'd rather be right now.

Slowly, the two fell asleep with Sam lying in her father's arms, snuggled up and warm.

* * *

just a question for you to review about... is this getting too long-winded? just tell me...

1/7/06


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